Date: Wed, 10 Sep 1997 10:55:17 -0400


IMPORTANT: NEW VIRUS
WARNING!!  If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of
"Badtimes,"delete
it immediately WITHOUT reading it.  This is the most dangerous E-mail virus
yet.It will re-write your hard drive.  Not only that, but it will scramble
any disks that are even close to your computer.  It will recalibrate your
refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and your milk
curdles.  It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards,
reprogram
your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace
field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.It will give your
ex-boy/girlfriend (ex-husband/wife) your new phone number.  It will mix
antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its
dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over.  It will
hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car
radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.  It will replace
your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your
current boy/girlfriend (husband/wife) behind your back and billing their
hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.  Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm
disease.
 It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hair dryer plugged in
dangerously close to a full bathtub.  It will not only remove the forbidden
tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will refill your skim milk
with whole.  It is insidious and subtle.  It is dangerous and terrifying to
behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.  Be afraid.  Be
very,
very afraid.