Paul Barth writes:
     Since we are all now great Unix wizards, the follow might be humorous. It
     came to me from Umass.

     Note that the '%' prompt indicates that the command should be issued from
     the C shell, and the '$' prompt indicates the Bourne shell.

     (Also, try "who killed my mother" or "who is god")

 ------------------------------------------------------

 % rm meese-ethics
 rm: meese-ethics nonexistent

 % ar m God
 ar: God does not exist

 % "How would you rate Reagan's incompetence?
 Unmatched ".

 % YWhere is Jimmy Hoffa?
 Missing ".

 % How did the sex change operation go?
 Modifier failed.

 % If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have?
 Too many ('s.

 % make love
 Make:  Don't know how to make love.  Stop.

 % sleep with me
 bad character

 % got a light?
 No match.


 % man: why did you get a divorce?
 man:: Too many arguments.

 % What is saccharine?
 Bad substitute.

 % %blow
 %blow: No such job.


 % \(-
 (-: Command not found.

 % sh

 $ drink <bottle; opener
 bottle: cannot open
 opener: not found

 $ cat catfood
 cat: cannot open catfood

 $ mkdir matter; cat >matter
 matter: cannot create

 $ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
 no sense in pretending!


 --
 David B. Stewart, Dept. of Elec. & Comp. Engr., and The Robotics Institute,
 Carnegie Mellon University,  email: stewart@faraday.ece.cmu.edu





Date: Thu, 20 Jul 1995 13:59:25 -0600
Subject: sh/csh humor

 Funny Unix csh/sh commands:
 ===========================
 % cat "food in cans"
 cat: can't open food in cans
 >
 % nice man woman
 No manual entry for woman.
 >
 % rm God
 rm: God nonexistent
 >
 % ar t God
 ar: God does not exist]
 >
 % ar r God
 ar: creating God
 >
 % "How would you rate Quayle's incompetence?
 Unmatched ".
 >
 % [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
 Missing ].
 >
 % ^How did the sex change operation go? ^
 Modifier failed.
 >
 % If I had a ( for every $ the Congress spent, what
 would I have?
 Too many ('s.
 >
 % make love
 Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop. >
 % sleep with me
 bad character
 >
 % got a light?
 No match.
 >
 % man: why did you get a divorce? man::
 Too many arguments.
 >
 % !:say, what is saccharine?
 Bad substitute.
 >
 % %blow
 %blow: No such job.
 >
 /* not csh but sh */
 $ PATH=pretending!/usr/ucb/which sense no
 sense in pretending!
 >
 $ drink <bottle; opener
 bottle: cannot open
 opener: not found
Content-Length: 1




----- End Included Message -----

Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: bhorne@lynx.dac.neu.edu (Bill Horne)
Subject: The UNIX Guru's View of Sex
Keywords: laugh, UNIX, sexual, forwarded
Date: Wed, 26 Nov 97 19:30:03 EST
Lines: 15

 
The UNIX Guru's View of Sex:
----------------------------------------------
# unzip ; strip ; touch ; finger ; mount ; fsck ; more ; yes ; umount ; sleep


[making the rounds, origin unknown.]