We cannot see the future. We cannot change the past. We can only live
in the now with an eye towards gaining enough power in the future to
wreak revenge on the son-of-a-bitch who screwed us in the past.

Dreaming frees the soul, energizes the spirit and allows you to do
things that would get your ass thrown in jail if you really tried them.

Love means never having to say, "Does that twenty include the spanking?"

To truly love another, you must first love yourself.  And it wouldn't
kill you to wash your hands in between either.

A little bit of love goes a long way in our lives.  It can provide us
with higher highs and lower lows.  But, if it comes with a persistent
burning sensation, see your physician.

They say a smile is a gift, which is free to the giver and precious to
the recipient.  But giving the finger is free, too, and much more
personal and sincere.

When it becomes a crime to love, you should probably consider dating
outside the family.

If Life hands you lemons today, smile and give thanks.  Then when Life
isn't looking, give him a quick knee to the groin.  That'll learn him.