Subject: for your amusement: quotes from Texas legislators
Date: Wed, 3 Sep 1997 10:08:09 -0400 (EDT)

[forwards removed]
 
 Subject: Humor: Texas Quotes
 
 It just makes good sense to put all your eggs in one basket.
 Texas Rep. Joe Salem speaking on an amendment requiring all revenues to go
 into the state treasury.
 
 Lemme give ya' a hypothetic.
 Texas Rep. Renal Rosson
 
 Ain't nothin' in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead
 armadillos.
 Texas Agricultural Commissioner Jim Hightower
 
 And now, will y'all stand and be recognized?
 Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis to a group of handicapped people in
 wheelchairs
 
 Dallas salutes a person who can buy a piece of art, but not a person who
 can create one.
 A. C. Greene
 
 No thanks, once was enough.
 Texas Governor Bill Clements, asked if he had been born again
 
 Oh good. Now he'll be bi-ignorant.
 Texas Agricultural Commissioner Jim Hightower when told that Texas 
 Governor Bill Clements had been studying Spanish
 
 I'd just make a little bit of money, I wouldn't make a whole lot.
 Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis defending himself against the charge that he
 would personally profit from a bill he had introduced.
 
 Well, there never was a Bible in the room.
 Texas Governor Bill Clements, asked about repeatedly lying about the SMU
 football scandal.
 
 I am filled with humidity.
 Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis.
 
 If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drillin' rights on that
 man's head.
 Texas Agricultural Commissioner Jim Hightower discussing President George
 Bush's policies
 
 If it's dangerous to talk to yourself, it's probably even dicier to
 listen...
 Texas Agricultural Commissioner Jim Hightower
 
 I move we recess to go outside and throw up.
 Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis during a budget hearing
 
 This is a real competitive business.
 A gas station owner, when asked to explain the rapid rise in gasoline
 prices when Kuwait was invaded
 
 ..idiots, imbeciles, aliens, the insane and women...
 Law standing in Texas until 1918 regulating who could not vote
 
 It's the sediment of the House that we adjourn.
 Texas House Speaker Wayne Clayton
 
 Let's do this in one foul sweep
 Texas House Speaker Wayne Clayton
 
 This is unparalyzed in the state's history.
 Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis
 
 I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished
 yourselves this session.
 Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis
 
 We'll run it up the flagpole and see who salutes that booger.
 Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis
 
 There's a lot of uncertainty that's not clear in my mind.
 Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis
 
 There are still places where people think that the function of the media is
 to provide information.
 Don Rottenberg
 
 Which one is that? I just voted the way my wife told me to; she knew what
 it was.
 Texas gubernatorial candidate Clayton Williams, when asked how he had voted
 on the only proposition on the Texas ballot
 
 You knew I was weak when you gave me that money.
 Texas legislator to lobbyist after taking $100,000 and voting against the 
 measure.