Date: 17/01/97 04:49:17 PM CST
Subject: JOKE: Country Titles

>The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles (these are real)
>
>- Do You Love As Good As You Look?
>- Drop Kick Me Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life.
>- Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.
>- Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Mouth Was Pure.
>- Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares.
>- How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
>- I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral.
>- I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life.
>- I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling.
>- I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me.
>- I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
>- I Keep Forgetting I Forgot About You.
>- I Wanna Whip Your Cow.
>- I Would Have Written You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
>- I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.
>- I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontol Lobotomy.
>- I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life.
>- I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart.
>- I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line.
>- If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You!
>- If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low.
>- If My Nose Were Full Of Nickels, I'd Blow It All Over You.
>- If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me.
>- If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will.
>- If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
>- Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head.)
>- May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose.
>- My Everyday Silver Is Plastic.
>- My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink And I Don't Love Jesus.
>- My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field While Your Dear John Was Breaking Up
>My Heart.
>- My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him.
>- Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby
>I Can See Through You.
>- Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill.
>- She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft; She Got The Ring And I Got The
>Finger.
>- She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart.
>- Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone.
>- They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out.
>- Velcro Arms, Teflon Head.
>- When You Leave, Walk Out Backwards So I'll Think You're Walking In.
>- You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too.
>- You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat.
>- You Were Only A Splinter In My Ass As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
>- You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly.