"A Grandchild's Guide to Using Grandpa's Computer": http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/elz1/clocktower/DrSeuss.html ("Bits in bytes on chips in box"...) Date: Fri, 6 Jun 1997 15:49:27 -0400 Subject: JOKE: Green Eggs and Hamlet > Green Eggs and Hamlet > > I ask to be or not to be. > That is the question I ask of me. > This sullied life, it makes me shudder. > My uncle's boffing dear sweet mother. > Would I, could I take me life? > Could I, should I end this strife? > Should I jump out of a plane? > Or throw myself before a train? > Should I from a cliff just leap? > Could I put myself to sleep? > Shoot myself or take some poison? > Maybe try self immolation? > To shudder off this mortal coil, > I could stab myself with a fencing foil. > Slash my wrists while in the bath? > Would it end my angst and wrath? > To sleep, to dream, now there's the rub. > I could drop a toaster in my tub. > Would all be glad if I were dead? > Could I perhaps kill them instead? > This line of thought takes consideration -- > For I'm the king of procrastination. Subject: JOKE: Dr Seuss From: Lisa Clark, on 11/3/97 10:16 AM: DR. SEUSS' LESSER-KNOWN BOOKS 1. The Cat in the Blender 2. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert 3. Fox in Detox 4. Who Shat in the Hat? 5. Horton Hires a Ho 6. The Flesh-Eating Lorax 7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day 8. Your Colon Can Moo---Can You? 9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil 10. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch 11. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the Hell Out! 12. Are You My Proctologist? 13. Yentl the Lentil 14. My Pocket Rocket Needs A Socket 15. Aunts in My Pants 16. Oh, the Places You'll Scratch and Sniff! > > > REJECTED DR. SEUSS BOOKS: > > > > > > 1. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, You Bitch > > > 2. Herbert the Pervert Likes to Eat Sherbert > > > 3. The Fox in Detox > > > 4. Who Shat in the Hat? > > > 5. Horton Hires a Ho > > > 6. The Flesh-Eating Lorax > > > 7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day > > > 8. Your Colon Can Moo - Can You? > > > 9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil > > > 10. The Cat in the Blender > > > 11. Green Eggs Make You Barf > > > 12. Are You My Proctologist? > > > 13. Yentl the Lentil > > > 14. My Pocket Rocket Needs a Socket > > > 15. Aunts in My Pants > > > 16. Oh! The Places You'll Scratch! > > > 17. Horton Does Houston > > > 18. The Grinch's Ten Inches