1. A woman gives a beggar $.50. The woman is the beggar's sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. Why is this? The beggar is the woman's sister 2. Why can't a man living in Salem, N.C. be buried west of the Mississippi? Because he's still alive in Salem, N.C. 3. Do they have a Fourth of July in Canada? Of course, but it's not Independence Day there. 4. How many birthdays does the average person have? Only one. 5. Some months have 31 days, some have 30. How many have 28? All 6. How many outs are there in an inning? six 7. Is it legal in N.J. for a man to marry his widow's sister? Only if it's legal for a dead man to marry anyone. 8. Two men play 5 games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of games. There are no ties. Can you explain this? They did not play each other 9. Divide thirty by half and add ten. What is the answer? seventy (30/.5 = 60) 10. If you have 3 apples and you take away 2, how many apples do you have? [This one's rather iffy...] YOU still have 3 apples. 11. I have 2 U.S. coins totaling $.55. One is not a nickel. What are the coins? One coin is a half-dollar, the OTHER is a nickle. 12. If you walked into a room, and had only one match, and the room contained an oil burner, a kerosene lamp and a wood burning stove, what would you light first? The match. 13. How far can a dog run into the woods? Only half way. Then it's on its way out. 14. A doctor gives you 3 pills, telling you to take one every half hour. How long would the pills last? One hour, if taken at 1/2 hour intervals, starting immediately 15. A farmer has seventeen sheep. All but nine die. How many are left alive? Nine. 16. A clerk in a butcher shop is 5'10" tall. What does she weigh? Meat. 17. How may $0.04 stamps are in a dozen? Twelve 18. What was the president's name in 1954? [This one's mildly iffy.] Bill Clinton, same as it is now. 19. A 33 1/3 rpm record is 12" in diameter and contains 45 minutes of music; how many grooves does it have? Two (one on each side). An easier exam: Date: Wed, 15 Jan 1997 16:27:17 -0600 (CST) Subject: B-Exams Our B-exams are suppose to test for breadth, but the exams are only about CS! I think we need to add another exam about general topics. Here's a sample exam. Time Limit: 3 weeks* 1. What language is spoken in France? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law, and social conditions - OR - give the first name of Pierre Trudeau. 3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to: (a) build a bridge (b) sail the ocean (c) lead an army (d) WRITE A PLAY 4. What religion is the Pope? (a) Jewish (b) Catholic (c) Hindu (d) Polish (e) Agnostic (check only one) 5. Metric conversion: How many feet is 0.0 meters? 6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5? 7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately) 8. What are people in America's far north called? (a) Westerners (b) Southerners (c) Northerners 9. Spell -- Bush, Carter, and Clinton 10. Six kings of England have been called George. Name five of them who ruled *before* George VI. 11. Where does rain come from? (a) Macy's (b) a 7-11 (c) Canada (d) the sky 12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity? (a) yes (b) no 13. What are coat hangers used for? 14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for what country? 15. Explain Le Chatelier's Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium - OR - spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS. 16. Where is the basement in a three-story building located? 17. Which part of America produces the most oranges? (a) New York (b) Florida (c) Canada (d) Wisconsin 18. Advanced math: If you have three apples how many apples do you have? 19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corporation) stand for? 20. The University of Illinois tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)? (a) B.C. (b) A.D. * You must answer three or more questions correctly to qualify Date: Fri, 19 Dec 1997 11:07:16 -0500 (EST) From: MaryAnn OConnor To: humor-lovers Subject: The World's Easiest Quiz 1. How long did the Hundred Years War last? 2. Which country makes Panama hats? 3. Where do we get catgut? 4. In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution? 5. What is a camel's hair brush made of? 6. The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? 7. What was King George VI's first name? 8. What color is a purple finch? 9. What country do Chinese gooseberries come from? 10. How long did the Thirty Years War last? -------------------------------------------------------- Answers To The Quiz 1. 116 years, from 1337 to 1453. 2. Ecuador. 3. From sheep and horses. 4. November; the Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours. 5. Squirrel fur. 6. The Latin name was Insularia Canaria - Island of the Dogs. 7. Albert. When he came to the throne in 1936 he respected the wish of Queen Victoria that no future king should ever be called Albert. 8. Distinctively crimson. 9. New Zealand. 10. Thirty years, of course. From 1618 to 1648. Date: 05/16/97 02:58:46 PM MST Subject: JOKE: quiz 1. How many 3-cent stamps in a dozen? a. 3 b. 4 c. 12 d. 6 2. You're the pilot of an airplane that travels from New York to Chicago - a distance of 800 miles. The airplane travels at 200 m.p.h. and makes one stop for 30 minutes. What is the pilot's name? a. There is information missing. b. You can't tell from the question. c. Both a & b. d. You can tell from the question. 3. Is it legal for a man to marry his widow's sister? a. Yes. b. No. c. Legality has nothing to do with it. d. It's legal, but unethical. 4. There are ten black and ten white stockings in a drawer. If you reach into the drawer in the dark, what is the least number of stockings you must take out before you are sure of a pair that matches? a. 1 b. 2 c. 3 d. 4 5. A kangaroo is at the bottom of a 30-foot well. Each day it jumps up three feet and slips back two. At that rate, when will it reach the top? a. 27th day b. 28th day c. 29th day d. 30th day 6. A rope ladder is hanging over the side of a ship. The ladder is 12 feet long, and the rungs are one foot apart. The lowest rung is resting on the top of the ocean. The tide rises at the rate of four inches per hour. How long will it take before the first four rungs of the ladder are under water? a. 36 hours. b. 2 days. c. They will never be under water. d. 1 day. 7. Which would be worth more - a trunk full of nickels or a half a trunk full of dimes? a. Dimes. b. Nickels. c. Both are the same. d. None of the above. 8. A child playing on the beach had 6-1/6 sand piles in one place and 3-1/3 in another. If he put them together, how many sand piles would he have? a. 10 b. 3-1/3 c. 2-5/6 d. None of the above. 9. It takes 4-1/2 hours for a jet to fly coast to coast. One plane leaves Los Angeles for New York at 4:40 P.M., while another plane leave New York for Los Angeles at 6:00 P.M. Which plane will be closer to New York when they pass each other? a. The LA bound plane. b. The NY bound [plane. c. Neither would be closer. d. None of the above. 10. In the Hope family there are seven sisters and each sister has one brother. Including Mr. & Mrs. Hope, how many are in the family? a. 10 b. 16 c. 14 d. None of the above. 11. If the Vice President of the United States should die, who would be President? a. The Speaker of the House. b. The Secretary of State. c. The President Pro Temp. d. The President. 12. How many times can you subtract 2 from the numeral 21? a. 10 b. 10 c. Unlimited d. None of the above. 13. Would it be cheaper for you to take one friend to the movies twice, or two friends to the movies at the same time? a. Two friends at the same time. b. One friend twice. c. It would cost the same. d. The former would be twice as expensive as the latter. 14. On a farm in Malaya is the world's most perfect plum tree. The main trunk has exactly 24 branches, each branch exactly 12 boughs, each bough exactly 6 twigs, and each twig bears one piece of fruit. How many apples on the tree.? a. 42 b. 1126 c. 188 d. None of the above. 15. When you take two apples from three apples, what do you have? a. 2 b. 1 c. 3 d. None of the above. 16. How close a relative would the sister-in law of your father's only brother be? a. Your aunt b. Your grandmother c. Your grandfather d. Your mother 17. A bus starts at the depot with six passengers. It proceeds a few blocks and stops. Two passengers get off and five get on. It continues a short distance and stops. Three get off and seven board. It stars again, continues, and stops and four get off and four get on. It proceeds on its route, stops, and five get on, three leave, then two more get on. On the next stop, 14 get on and no one gets off. How many stops did the bus make.? a. 21 b. 5 c. 23 d. 4 18. Can you throw a golf ball with all your might and, without hitting a wall or other obstruction, have it stop and come right back to you? a. You can't b. You can c. Only if you can "doctor" the ball d. None of the above 19. In which book of the Bible do you read about Abel slaying Cain? a. In Genesis b. In Deuteronomy c. In both Genesis and mentioned in Exodus d. It's not in the Bible 20. Read the following sentence slowly once counting the number of F's. Final Files Are The Result Of Years Of Scientific Study With The Experience Of Years. How many did you find? a. 2 b. 3 c. 4 d. 6 21. How many cubic feet of earth are there in a hole 2 yards wide, 3 yards long, and 4 yards deep? a. 26 yards b. 72 yards c. 24 yards d. None 22. If you drop a steel ball into a bucket of water, at which temperature would it fall fastest? a. -50 C b. 20 F c. 32 C d. There would be no difference 23. When somebody says, "I'll break every bone in your body", how many bones would they have to break? a. 50 b. 200 c. 500 d. 1000 24. How many punctuation marks are there in English grammar? a. 5 b. 9 c. 14 d. 18 25. How well do you remember old movies? What character played by Boris Karloff brought him the greatest success? a. Frankenstein b. Dracula c. A scientist d. The monster 26. The amount of water flowing into a tank doubles every minute. The tank is full in an hour. When was the tank half full? a. 15 minutes b. 10 minutes c. 29 minutes d. 59 minutes 27. There are two 5-gallon containers. One has 4 gallons of red fluid and the other 4 gallons of blue. One gallon of the blue is poured into the red container, and then one gallon of the now mixed 4-red to 1-blue is poured back into the blue container. Is there more red in the blue or more blue in the red container a. Twice as much red in the blue b. Twice as much blue in the red c. 4/5 as much blue in the red d. Both will be even 28. You've seen a map of Italy. In which direction does the toe of the boot face? a. East b. West c. North d. South 29. By what fractional part does four-fourths exceed three-fourths? a. 1/4 b. 1/6 c. 1/3 d. 3/8 30. A sophisticated computer is fed this knotty problem. Between two clocks, one of which is broken and doesn't run at all while the other looses one second every 24 hours, which is more accurate? a. The slow clock is twice as accurate b. The broken clock is far more accurate c. Neither are ever accurate d. Both are equally accurate