PARAPROSDOKIANS...
are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising 
or unexpected; frequently humorous.
(Winston Churchill loved them) 


1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

10. Buses stop in bus stations; trains stop in train stations. My desk has a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.