What do you get when you cross a grape with an elephant?
Grape Elephant sine Theta.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Trick question -- you can't cross a vector with a scalar.
What's yellow and equivalent to the axiom of choice?
Zorn's Lemon.
What's purple and commutes?
An Abelian grape.
(What if it's worshipped by a limited number of people?
A finitely venerated Abelian grape.)
How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, who gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing it to a previous joke.
(How many zen buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two -- one to screw it in, one not to screw it in.)
(How many militant feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
"That's not funny!")
Teaching Math in 1950:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
Teaching Math in 1960:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
Teaching Math in 1970:
A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money. The
cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. The set
"C", the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set "M". What
is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits?
Teaching Math in 1980:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
Teaching Math in 1990:
By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do
you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation
after answering the question? How did the forest birds and squirrels feel
as the logger cut down the trees? There are no wrong answers.
Teaching Math in 1996:
By laying off 402 of its loggers, a company improves its stock price
from $80 to $100. How much capital gain per share does the CEO make by
exercising his stock options at $80. Assume capital gains are no longer
taxed, because this encourages investment.
Teaching Math in 1997:
A company outsources all of its loggers. They save on benefits and
when demand for their product is down the logging work force can easily
be cut back. The average logger employed by the company earned $50,000,
had 3 weeks vacation, received a nice retirement plan and medical insurance.
The contracted logger charges $50 an hour. Was outsourcing a good move?
Teaching Math in 1998:
A logging company exports its wood-finishing jobs to its Indonesian
subsidiary and lays off the corresponding half of its US workers (the
higher-paid half). It clear-cuts 95% of the forest, leaving the rest for
the spotted owl, and lays off all its remaining US workers. It tells the
workers that the spotted owl is responsible for the absence of fellable
trees and lobbies Congress for exemption from the Endangered Species
Act. Congress instead exempts the company from all federal regulation.
What is the return on investment of the lobbying.