-----Original Message-----
Sent: Saturday, January 19, 2002 10:43 AM
Subject: Hollywood squares


> From the original Hollywood Squares TV show. 
> These are from the days when game
> show responses were spontaneous [??] -- not scripted as they are now.


Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?
A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q: True or false...a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes...

Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a
   woman?
A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q: According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you 
   think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him 
   if he's married?
A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love you?"
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q: What are "Do It," "I Can Help" and "Can't Get Enough?"
A: George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get
   any during your first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing strawberries!

Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a
   goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the
   habit of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!

Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
   what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie
   "What's The Matter With Helen?" Who plays Helen?
A: Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver - that's why they asked the question.

Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q: Imagine you are a child in your mother's womb, can you detect light?
A: Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice.


=====

Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your 
   hands while talking? 
A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and 
   I'll give you a gesture you' ll never forget. 


Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist 
   camps. One is politics, what is the other? 
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures. 


Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. 


Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?


Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? 
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him. 


Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them 
   and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? 
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.


Q: According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? 
A: Paul Lynde: Point and laugh  *