From Salon Magazine's "Error Messages in Haiku form" contest, Feb. 10, 1998:

   W I N N E R S:

   Three things are certain:
   Death, taxes, and lost data.
   Guess which has occurred.

   Everything is gone;
   Your life's work has been destroyed.
   Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?


   H O N O R A B L E   M E N T I O N S:

   I'm sorry, there's -- um --
   insufficient -- what's-it-called?
   The term eludes me ...

   Printer not ready.
   Could be a fatal error.
   Have a pen handy?

   A file that big?
   It might be very useful.
   But now it is gone.

   Errors have occurred.
   We won't tell you where or why.
   Lazy programmers.

   Server's poor response
   Not quick enough for browser.
   Timed out, plum blossom.

   This site has been moved.
   We'd tell you where, but then we'd
   have to delete you.

   wind catches lily
   scatt'ring petals to the wind:
   segmentation fault

   The Web site you seek
   cannot be located but
   endless others exist

   ABORTED effort:
   Close all that you have.
   You ask way too much.

   First snow, then silence.
   This thousand dollar screen dies
   so beautifully.

   With searching comes loss
   and the presence of absence:
   "My Novel" not found.

   The Tao that is seen
   Is not the true Tao, until
   You bring fresh toner.

   Stay the patient course
   Of little worth is your ire
   The network is down

   A crash reduces
   your expensive computer
   to a simple stone.

   There is a chasm
   of carbon and silicon
   the software can't bridge

   Yesterday it worked
   Today it is not working
   Windows is like that

   To have no errors
   Would be life without meaning
   No struggle, no joy

   You step in the stream,
   but the water has moved on.
   This page is not here.

   No keyboard present
   Hit F1 to continue
   Zen engineering?

   Hal, open the file
   Hal, open the damn file, Hal
   open the, please Hal

   Out of memory.
   We wish to hold the whole sky,
   But we never will.

   Having been erased,
   The document you're seeking
   Must now be retyped.

   The ten thousand things
   How long do any persist?
   Netscape, too, has gone.

   Rather than a beep
   Or a rude error message,
   These words: "File not found."

   Serious error.
   All shortcuts have disappeared.
   Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

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