Date: Mon, 16 Jul 2001 21:15:44 -0500 ------ You won't receive a golden statue. You won't find a red carpet flanked = by limos and starlets in sequined gowns. The TechRepublic award for = worst e-mail is utterly lacking in celebrity appeal. Instead, our contest generated a different kind of excitement. It = created a collective sense of contempt for those who disregard grammar, = spelling, and common sense in their electronic correspondence. TechRepublic asked you to send us your worst e-mail. We received = hundreds of entries-each of them written terribly in their own way. The = judges chose their top five favorites. Let's count down to number one. #5 Is this English or secret code? Situation: A systems analyst created more problems when he wrote this = e-mail to explain a problem. Nominated by: Scott E-mail: Will the unti cost in momsat that has change now since you have fix = it-will it update THE AIM ICS STD COST TO-NIGHT Because I will need to = send mass ICS act again because some Std(wrong) went to Vista- Sandy also says that last yr he did not key ing sytle no that they were = their with the cost and he just changed the cost What on lstovr #4 Enroll your student in Spellchecker 101 Situation: A student sent this e-mail to his computer instructor. Should = the teacher deduct points from his next exam? Nominated by: Richard M. E-mail: i am ussualy home before classes in the morning-before 9 on wed. and = thursday.. and b4 1200on monday..of b4 2on tuesday.and friday=20 my major is microsoft networking i expect to learn how to better = maintain a PC within a home and network inviorment..=20 #3 Big problems with no problems Situation: A customer who complained about software received this reply = from the company's "CustomerCare" department. Nominated by: Armin Q. E-mail: "Dear , What probleme you refering to? We no problem have with window 98 or = toher system. We do not have any problemsrunning on = these operating system. None of our customer have such problem. What you = talking about?=20 Thank You, " CustomerCare" #2 Buyer beware Situation: A salesman didn't impress a potential customer when he = pitched his product with this e-mail. Nominated by: Fine E-mail: Dear Mr.Jones, Looking for a siample and easy installation device you don't have to = apply another telephone line but all staff in your office could connect = Internet, buy another printer server, or buy another fax sever? Looking = for the CD-R's? Look no further. Right here. We are pleased to inform = you that we can provide you these products exactly what you need. #1 And the winner is... Situation: A manager is demanding information from his co-workers. He = combines bad spelling with a belligerent attitude. Bravo! Nominated by: Joe C. E-mail: Good Morning, I asked for various of information from you on last week (data sheets). = >From some of you, I have received it (I thank you); from other I'm still = waiting. My job to me (after 20 years is just as important as yours). = I've got a doctrine's degree in software. The administrative assistants = and secretaries is what make the company run more smoothly (believe it = or not). It does take a brain surgeon to do any of these jobs (some = people just think it does). And if you really think that, I have a big = surprise for you. I don't ask for much, but when I do I expect to receive it (pertaining = to my job). Something I will not let you do, is make me look bad.