Date:    14 Jan 1997 12:25:44
And You Thought YOU Were Having a Bad Day

Sometimes, it seems like some people are just plain *doomed*. If you
don't believe it, consider these weird deaths:

* A fierce gust of wind blew 45-year-old Vittorio Luise's car into a
river near Naples, Italy, in 1983.  He managed to break a window,
climb out and swim to shore --where a tree blew over and killed him.

* Mike Stewart, 31, of Dallas was filming a movie in 1983 on the
dangers of low-level bridges when the truck he was standing on passed
under a low-level bridge --killing him.

* Walter Hallas, a 26-year-old store clerk in Leeds, England, was so
afraid of dentists that in 1979 he asked a fellow worker to try to
cure his toothache by punching him in the jaw. The punch caused Hallas
to fall down, hitting his head, and he died of a fractured skull.

* George Schwartz, owner of a factory in Providence, R.I., narrowly
escaped death when a 1983 blast flattened his factory except for one
wall. After treatment for minor injuries, he returned to the scene to
search for files. The remaining wall then collapsed on him, killing
him.

* Depressed since he could not find a job, 42-year-old Romolo Ribolla
sat in his kitchen near Pisa, Italy, with a gun in his hand
threatening to kill himself in 1981. His wife pleaded for him not to
do it, and after about an hour he burst into tears and threw the gun
to the floor. It went off and killed his wife.

* In 1983, a Mrs. Carson of Lake Kushaqua, N.Y., was laid out in her
coffin, presumed dead of heart disease. As mourners watched, she
suddenly sat up. Her daughter dropped dead of fright.

* A man hit by a car in New York in 1977 got up uninjured, but lay
back down in front of the car when a bystander told him to pretend he
was hurt so he could collect insurance money. The car rolled forward
and crushed him to death.

* Surprised while burgling a house in Antwerp, Belgium, a thief fled
out the back door, clambered over a nine-foot wall, dropped down and
found himself in the city prison.

* In 1976 a twenty-two-year-old Irishman, Bob Finnegan, was crossing
the busy Falls Road in Belfast, when he was struck by a taxi and flung
over its roof. The taxi drove away and, as Finnegan lay stunned in the
road, another car ran into him, rolling him into the gutter. It too
drove on. As a knot of gawkers gathered to examine the magnetic
Irishman, a delivery van plowed through the crowd, leaving in its wake
three injured bystanders and an even more battered Bob Finnegan. When
a fourth vehicle came along, the crowd wisely scattered and only one
person was hit-Bob Finnegan. In the space of two minutes Finnegan
suffered a fractured skull, broken pelvis, broken leg, and other
assorted injuries. Hospital officials said he would recover.

* While motorcycling through the Hungarian countryside, Cristo Falatti
came up to a railway line just as the crossing gates were coming
down. While he sat idling, he was joined by a farmer with a goat,
which the farmer tethered to the crossing gate. A few moments later a
horse and cart drew up behind Falatti, followed in short order by a
man in a sports car. When the train roared through the crossing, the
horse startled and bit Falatti on the arm. Not a man to be trifled
with, Falatti responded by punching the horse in the head.  In
consequence the horse's owner jumped down from his cart and began
scuffling with the motorcyclist. The horse, which was not up to this
sort of excitement, backed away briskly, smashing the cart into the
sports-car. At this, the sports-car driver leaped out of his car and
joined the fray. The farmer came forward to try to pacify the three
flailing men. As he did so, the crossing gates rose and his goat was
strangled. At last report, the insurance companies were still trying
to sort out the claims.

* Two West German motorists had an all-too-literal head-on collision
in heavy fog near the small town of Guetersloh. Each was guiding his
car at a snail's pace near the center of the road. At the moment of
impact their heads were both out of the windows when they smacked
together. Both men were hospitalized with severe head injuries. Their
cars weren't scratched.

* In a classic case of one thing leading to another, seven men aged
eighteen to twenty-nine received jail sentences of three to four years
in Kingston-on-Thames, England, in 1979 after a fight that started
when one of the men threw a french fry at another while they stood
waiting for a train.

* Hitting on the novel idea that he could end his wife's incessant
nagging by giving her a good scare, Hungarian Jake Fen built an
elaborate harness to make it look as if he had hanged himself. When
his wife came home and saw him she fainted.  Hearing a disturbance a
neighbor came over and, finding what she thought were two corpses,
seized the opportunity to loot the place. As she was leaving the room,
her arms laden, the outraged and suspended Mr. Fen kicked her stoutly
in the backside. This so surprised the lady that she dropped dead of a
heart attack. Happily, Mr. Fen was acquitted of manslaughter and he
and his wife were reconciled.

* An unidentified English woman, according to the London Sunday
Express was climbing into the bathtub one afternoon when she
remembered she had left some muffins in the oven.  Naked, she dashed
downstairs and was removing the muffins when she heard a noise at the
door. Thinking it was the baker, and knowing he would come in and
leave a loaf of bread on the kitchen table if she didn't answer his
knock, the woman darted into the broom cupboard. A few moments later
she heard the back door open and, to her eternal mortification, the
sound of footsteps coming toward the cupboard. It was the man from the
gas company, come to read the meter.  "Oh," stammered the woman, "I
was expecting the baker." The gas man blinked, excused himself and
departed.





Attila the Hun:

One of the most notorious villains in history, Attila's army had
conquered all of Asia by 450 AD--from Mongolia to the edge of the
Russian Empire--by destroying villages and pillaging the countryside.

How he died: He got a nosebleed on his wedding night

In 453 AD, Attila married a young girl named Ildico.  Despite his
reputation for ferocity on the battlefield, he tended to eat and drink
lightly during large banquets. On his wedding night, however, he
really cut loose, gorging himself on food and drink. Sometime during
the night he suffered a nosebleed, but was too drunk to notice. He
drowned in his own blood and was found dead the next morning.

Tycho Brahe:

An important Danish astronomer of the 16th century. His ground
breaking research allowed Sir Isaac Newton to come up with the theory
of gravity.

How he died: Didn't get to the bathroom in time

In the 16th century, it was considered an insult to leave a banquet
table before the meal was over. Brahe, known to drink excessively, had
a bladder condition --but failed to relieve himself before the banquet
started. He made matters worse by drinking too much at dinner, and was
too polite to ask to be excused.  His bladder finally burst, killing
him slowly and painfully over the next 11 days.

Horace Wells:

Pioneered the use of anesthesia in the 1840s

How he died: Used anesthetics to commit suicide

While experimenting with various gases during his anesthesia research,
Wells became addicted to chloroform. In 1848 he was arrested for
spraying two women with sulfuric acid.  In a letter he wrote from
jail, he blamed chloroform for his problems, claiming that he'd gotten
high before the attack. Four days later he was found dead in his
cell. He'd anaesthetized himself with chloroform and slashed open his
thigh with a razor.

Francis Bacon:

One of the most influential minds of the late 16th century. A
statesman, a philosopher, a writer, and a scientist, he was even
rumored to have written some of Shakespeare's plays.

How he died: Stuffing snow into a chicken

One afternoon in 1625, Bacon was watching a snowstorm and was struck
by the wondrous notion that maybe snow could be used to preserve meat
in the same way that salt was used.  Determined to find out, he
purchased a chicken from a nearby village, killed it, and then,
standing outside in the snow, attempted to stuff the chicken full of
snow to freeze it. The chicken never froze, but Bacon did.

Jerome Irving Rodale:

Founding father of the organic food movement, creator of "Organic
Farming and Gardening" magazine, and founder of Rodale Press, a major
publishing corporation.

How he died: On the "Dick Cavett Show", while discussing the benefits
of organic foods.

Rodale, who bragged "I'm going to live to be 100 unless I'm run down
by a sugar-crazed taxi driver," was only 72 when he appeared on the
"Dick Cavett Show" in January 1971. Part way through the interview, he
dropped dead in his chair. Cause of death: heart attack. The show was
never aired.

Aeschylus:

A Greek playwright back in 500 BC. Many historians consider him the
father of Greek tragedies.

How he died: An eagle dropped a tortoise on his head

According to legend, eagles picked up tortoises and attempt to crack
them open by dropping them on rocks. An eagle mistook Aeschylus' head
for a rock (he was bald) and dropped it on him instead.

Jim Fixx:

Author of the best selling "Complete Book of Running," which started
the jogging craze of the 1970s.

How he died: A heart attack....while jogging

Fixx was visiting Greensboro, Vermont when he walked out of his house
and began jogging. He'd only gone a short distance when he had a
massive coronary. His autopsy revealed that one of his coronary
arteries was 99% clogged, another was 80% obstructed, and a third was
70% blocked....and that Fixx had had three other attacks in the weeks
prior to his death.

And finally there's Lully, one of our favorite 16th-century composers,
who wrote music for the king of France.

While rehearsing the musicians, he got too serious beating time with
his staff, and drove it right through his foot. He died of infection.

--
Dominik Gaillardetz            Phone: +1 514 761 8751
Nortel, 16 place du Commerce,    Fax: +1 514 761 8510
Verdun, Qc, Canada, H3E 1H6    Email: dominik@nortel.ca