1999.july.23 The Washington Post's "Style Invitational" asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners: Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. Tatyr: A lecherous Mr. Potato Head. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. Burglesque: A poorly planned break-in. (See: Watergate) Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer. Glibido: All talk and no action. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with ------ [added 2003.feb.03:] Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. =================== Date: Thu, 1 Sep 2005 09:30:25 +1000 >> >> A) ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST >> >> Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning >> submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to >> supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are: >> >> 1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs. >> >> 2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained. >> >> 3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. >> >> 4. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk. >> >> 5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent. >> >> 6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you >> absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown. >> >> 7. Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp. >> >> 8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash. >> >> 9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are >> run over by a steamroller. >> >> 10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline. >> >> 11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam. >> >> 12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by >> proctologists. >> >> 13. Pokemon (n) a Rastafarian proctologist. >> >> 14. Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with >> Yiddishisms. >> >> 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.): The belief that, >> when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. >> >> 16. Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by >> Jewish men. >> >> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >> >> B) The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers >> to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, >> subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. >> Here are this year's winners: >> >> 1. Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops >> bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows >> little sign of breaking down in the near future. >> >> 2. Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the >> subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. >> [removed duplicates from the 1999 list above] >> >> 12. Decafalon (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day >> consuming only things that are good for you. >> >> 13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after >> you've accidentally walked through a spider web. >> >> 14. Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into >> your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. >> >> 15. Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in >> the fruit you're eating.