Date: Tue, 15 Dec 1998 08:49:47 PST

  > YOU KNOW YOU ARE FROM CALIFORNIA WHEN:
  > 
  > > The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.
  > > You were born somewhere else.
  > > You know how to eat an artichoke.
  > > The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.
  > > Your car has bulletproof windows.
  > > Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
  > > Your mouse has only one ball.
  > > If you need a new TV, you can run down to the local riot and
  > >   pick one up.
  > > You dive under your desk when a large truck drives by.
  > > You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.
  > > You drive to your neighborhood block party.
  > > Your family tree contains "significant others".
  > > Your cat/dog has its own psychiatrist.
  > > You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.
  > > You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance.
  > > More than clothes come out of the closet.
  > > When "The Dead" are best live.
  > > You go to a tanning salon before you go to the beach.
  > > Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse.
  > > More money is spent on facelifts than diapers.
  > > You pack shorts and a t-shirt to ski in the snow and a sweater
  > > and wetsuit to go to the beach.
  > > You can't schedule a meeting because you must "do lunch".
  > > Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.
  > > Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story on the local news.
  > > You'll reluctantly miss your yoga class to wait for the hot tub
  > >   repairman.
  > > You consult your horoscope before planning your day.
  > > A glass has been reserved for you at your favorite winery.
  > > When all highways into the state say: "no fruits".
  > > All highways out of the state say " Go Back".