The Biblical Scholastic Aptitude Test (BSAT) Even as televangelists being to fall upon hard times, the fundamentalist influence in America remains on the upsurge. Part of the movement's resiliency lies in its burgeoning network of centers of higher education. And, as biblically oriented universities continue to offer an alternative to secular liberal arts colleges, it's just common sense that an appropriate standard by which to measure a student's aptitude would develop. So get those number two pencils ready -- it's time to take the Rev. Dan Halberstein's Biblical Scholastic Aptitude Test. I. Math 1. Nehemiah 7:12 - Nahum 4:3 ----------------- a) Micah 3:9; b) Obadaih 6:69; c) Isaiah 66:9; d) Numbers 11:15 2. To feed 5,000 people sitting in companies of 50, Jesus used two fish and five loaves of bread; in the end 12 baskets of broken bread were leftover. What is the smallest crowd that Jesus could feed and leave no leftovers? a) 7,000 using three fish and five loaves; b) 10,000 using three fish and fifteen loaves; c) 144,000, using eight fish and forty loaves; d) 144,000, using the twelve baskets previously left over. 3. Complete the sequence: 1 Samuel, 2 Samuel, 1 Kings, 2 Kings, 1 Chronicles, ________ II. Economics 1. In what book of the New Testament is the Beatrice Corporation explained? The Old Testament? 2. The European Economic Community (The Common Market) has been one of the economic building blocks of the postwar world. It is also reminiscent of: a) The Fiery Chariot; b) the Whore of Babylon; c) The Beast; d) Jacob's Ladder. 3. In today's economy, which would be worth more, five golden tumors or five golden mice? a) five golden tumors; b) five golden mice; c) Their value would vary with the local market; d) It is irrelevant, as the modern demand for both tumors and mice made of precious metals is virtually nil. III. Science 1. God:Sun:: a) Creator:Creation; b) Good:Soon; c) Godot:Sunoco 2. In today's terminology, we would call a Demonic Possession: a) A high-temperature superconductor; b) a hostile takeover; c) a labor-saving device 3. The difference between Creationism and Evolution is: a) Evolution has no tax-deductible fund, and does not accept postdated checks; b) Creationism can be called a theory, because somebody believes in it, whereas Evolution cannot be called a religion, because nobody will picket for it. c) Evolution can only be called a science in that it doesn't have a high enough Nielsen rating to be called a religion. IV. Spatial Relations (mandatory for teleclerical courses of study) Maneuver diagram (a) through diagram (b) (a) (b) V. Essay Which is more important, life after death, or life before birth? Explain. -- Dan Halberstein Dan Halberstein writes for _The New Republic_ and _Roll Call_.