Date: Fri, 09 Jan 1998 11:35:11 -0800
Subject: beer


> You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline -
> it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear
> weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
>     --Frank Zappa
>
>
> Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach
> you to keep your mouth shut.
>      --Ernest Hemmingway
>
>
> Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than
>  alcohol has taken out of me.
>       --Winston Churchill
>
>
> He was a wise man who invented beer.-Plato
>
>
> Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
>-Catherine Zandonella
>
>
> Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.-Lady
> Astor to Winston Churchill
>Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.-His reply
>
>
> If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us
> stomachs.-David Daye
>
>
> Work is the curse of the drinking class.-Oscar Wilde
>
>
> When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
>  --Henny Youngman
>
>
> Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
> --Benjamin Franklin
>
>
> If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet
> it makes beer shoot out your nose.
>   --Deep Thought, Jack Handy
>
>
> Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
> mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a
> invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
>     --Dave Barry
>
>
> The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks
> behind.-Humphrey Bogart
>
>
> Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from
>       --David Moulton
>
>
> People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they
> just like to pee a lot.
>  --Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
>
>
> Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
>       --Kaiser Wilhelm
>
>
> I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
>  --Homer Simpson
>
>
> Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and
> oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital
> ingredient in beer. -- Dave Barry
>
>
> I drink to make other people interesting.-George Jean Nathan
>
> They who drink beer will think beer.-Washington Irving
>
> An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spendtime
> with his fools.-For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
>
>
> Beer. It's not just for breakfast anymore.-Linda Stundtner
>
>
> You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
>       --Dean Martin
>
>
> All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so
> let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
>      --Homer Simpson
>
>
> There are four food groups-the beer group, the pizza group, the
> beer condiments group, and the "other" group
>         --Jonathan Wasserstein



> >>>Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying
> himself
> >>>a pleasure.
> >>>       --Ambrose Bierce
> >>>


> >>>I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

> >>>A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to
> thank
> >>>her.

> >>>What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
> >>>       --W.C. Fields
> >>>

> >>>Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
> >>>       --Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
> >>>Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
> >>>       --His reply
> >>>
> >>>When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
> >>>       --Henny Youngman
> >>>
> >>>Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life,
> >>>so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
> >>>
> >>>I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
> >>>       --Tom Waits
> >>>
> >>>24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
> >>>
> >>>Beer is good food.
> >>>
> >>>Q. You don't like jail?
> >>>A. Naw, they got the wrong kind of bars in there.

> >>>If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us
> stomaches.
> >>>       --David Daye


> >>>One more drink and I'd be under the host.
> >>>       --Dorothy Parker
> >>>

> >>>All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking
> >>>Barry Manilow.
> >>>       --Dave Barry
> >>>
> >>>When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a
> year.
> >>>I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter
> with
> >>>slightly over half that quantity of beer.
> >>>       --Postpetroleum Guzzler, Dave Barry
> >>>
> >>>Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind
> is
> >>>beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
> but the
> >>>wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
> >>>       --Dave Barry's Bad Habits, Dave Barry
> >>>
> >>>Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and
> >>>oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital
> >>>ingredient in beer.
> >>>       --Dave Barry
> >>>
> >>>My problem with most athletic challenges is training. I'm lazy and
> find
> >>>that workouts cut into my drinking time.
> >>>       --A Wolverine is Eating My Leg
> >>>
> >>>The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
> >>>       --Humphrey Bogart
> >>>