>The Great Barbie Naming Contest > >One of the most impressive toy phenomena of this century has been the Barbie >doll. How many little girls in this country haven't grown up with at least >one of the long-legged, buxom, smiling, swollen-headed, anatomically >incorrect fashion plates for a plastic friend? Darn few, I'd say. >But the Barbie industry does not stop there, does it? How could we forget >Ken or Skipper? The Barbie Townhouse? Airplane? Cruise ship? Or the >endless Barbie variations from Malibu Barbie to the more recent Teacher >Barbie? >What if the inventiveness runs out? What if the toy engineers at Mattel >scratch their heads but can't come up with any new Barbie ideas? What if the >well of Barbie products runs dry? What if there are NO NEW BARBIES???? > >We can't let this happen! > >We, the Barbie-lovers of America, must act. We must wrack our brains to come >up with new Barbie ideas so that there will be no dearth of Barbiana. >We must save her! > >[Here's just some of the responses they got. I edited out the boring ones.] > >* Millionaire's Mistress Barbie >* Teen Acne Barbie >* Gangsta Bitch Barbie >* Unwed Mother Barbie >* Senior Citizen Talking Barbie (says, "I've fallen and I can't get up!") >* Body Piercing Barbie >* Klaus Barbie >* PMS Barbie >* Bag Lady Barbie >* Crop Circle Barbie >* Ebola Barbie (Hot Zone sold separately. Thanks, Mary!) >* Multiple Personality Barbie (Additional personalities sold separately). >* Barbie Scissorhands >* Divorcee Barbie (Comes with Ken's accessories) >* Phone Sex Barbie >* Lounge Lizard Barbie >* Achy Breaky Barbie >* Polka Time Barbie >* Peg-legged Barbie >* Tobacco Chewin' Barbie >* Packwood Aide Barbie >* Lap Dancin' Barbie >* Not Shavin' My Pits Barbie >* Spontaneous Combustion Barbie >* Vengeful Figure Skater Barbie >* Shoplifter Barbie (Comes with stuff from other playsets. >* NATO Peacekeeper Hostage Barbie >* Third World Dictator's Wife Barbie >* Low Rider Barbie >* Hollywood Squares Has-Been Barbie >* Lactose Intolerant Barbie >* Slave to the Patriarchy Barbie [Oops, We already have that one!] >* Angry Mattel Lawyer Barbie > > >Double Doll Sets: > >* Near Death Experience Barbie & TV Talk Show Circuit Barbie >* 700 Club Barbie & God Barbie. Anti-Christ Barbie sold seperately >* Generation X Barbie (Job not included!) & Will Work For Food Barbie >* Bikini Wax Barbie & Liposuction Barbie > > >Barbie Accessories: > >* Barbie's Crack House >* Barbie's Murder Scene >* Barbie's Juvenile Detention Center >* Barbie's Chappaquiddick Set >* Barbie's Grassy Knoll (Thanks, booda!) >* Barbie Home Pregnancy Test (Thanks, jashdown!) >* Barbie's Illegal Sweatshop (Thanks, aieeeeeeee!) >* Barbie's Fun-Time Survivalist Bomb Shelter >* Barbie's Broken-Down Chevy Nova (Thanks, innocent!) >* Barbie Chicken Processing Plant >* Barbie's O.J. Simpson Accessory Kit - Kato Kaitlin doll sold seperately. >* Barbie Bodybag (unless included in above) > > >Other Barbie and Friends Items: > >* Ken Pimpin' Fun Outfit >* Ku Klux Ken >* "Bobbitt" Ken (If you know what we mean....Thanks, Michael) >* Pedophile Ken (comes with optional Skipper) >* Hyperactive Skipper (Ritalin sold separately) >* The Bad Seed Skipper >* Deadbeat Dad Ken >* Barbie-Stalkin' Ken >* Angry White Ken >* Repressed Memories Skipper >* Don't Ask, Don't Tell G.I. Joe >