> From New York: Can't the U.N. do something? ... it's THE 
  TOP TEN LIST for Thursday, April 6, 1995.  And now, a man 
  who's in way over his head ... David Letterman!

> From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ...

TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR SENATOR IS NUTS

10. He gets between Ted Kennedy and the buffet table

 9. Constantly hitting on Janet Reno

 8. Puts Sam Donaldson in a headlock and yells, "Call
    the fire department!  I caught me a Martian!"

 7. Attends Congress nude from waist down claiming to have
    a "pants-eating virus"

 6. In official campaign photo, he's in a hot tub with Kato

 5. His first speech in Senate -- a blistering attack on
    Mother Teresa

 4. Demands that his staff address him as "Tank Girl"

 3. He's been dating that guy in the dress that got kicked
    out of Judge Ito's courtroom

 2. He loved that "Oprah, Uma" thing

 1. Has jumped on the Clinton '96 bandwagon


Compiled by Sue Trowbridge
The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated.
Used with permission.