> From New York: Home of the world famous Eiffel Tower ... it's THE 
  TOP TEN LIST for Tuesday, April 4, 1995.  And now, as seen on 
  television ... David Letterman!

> From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ...

TOP TEN WAYS THE METS CAN IMPROVE THIS YEAR

10. Don't just suck -- suck 110%

 9. Require players to bet on games so they care about outcome

 8. Instead of baseball hats -- Donahue wigs

 7. No beers till the seventh inning

 6. A little less "polishing the bat", if you know what I mean

 5. Wait at least until all-star break to get indicted

 4. Stop letting Kato Kaelin sleep in the dugout

 3. Two words: Coach Gump

 2. Forget about having Letterman host annual awards banquet

 1. Keep the replacements


Compiled by Sue Trowbridge

The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated.
Used with permission.