"Top Ten Bad Things About Living Longer"

As presented on the September 7, 1993 (9/7/93) broadcast of LATE SHOW with
DAVID LETTERMAN

10. Seems like every time you turn around that damn Halley's Comet is back.
9. Would see great, great, great grandchildren marry moon men
8. (See Richards, Keith)
7. Shoulder-length ear hair
6. If you're a Mets fan, you'd rather go early
5. More fantasies about Buddy Ebsen
4. Every time you sneeze, you break your hip
3. Eventually it's your turn to marry Zsa Zsa
2. While you grow to love Beavis, Butthead becomes almost unbearable
1. All the shoes