> From New York: Valet parking for getaway cars ... it's THE TOP TEN LIST 
  for Tuesday, November 15, 1994.  And now, Playboy's Playmate of the 
  year 1994 ... David Letterman!

> From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ...

TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR NEW GOVERNOR IS NUTS

10. Changes name of capital to "Funkytown."

 9. To prove he's tough on crime he has himself executed.

 8. Calls an emergency staff meeting and declares war on Nebraska.

 7. If left alone, will eat every document on his desk.

 6. Won't return phone call of the best damn mayor of the best damn city 
    of the best damn country in the world.

 5. During victory speech, screams "Are you sorry you wouldn't be my prom 
    date now, Stephanie O'Rourke?"

 4. Giggles uncontrollably whenever somebody says the word "gubernatorial."

 3. During swearing-in, insists on holding judge's hand.

 2. His date for the inaugural ball is inflatable.

 1. Keeps trying to impeach himself.


Compiled by Sue Trowbridge
The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1994 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated.
Used with permission.