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So then, it's politics that you want, huh? Well I've got some politics
for ya in this brand new Whim edition, hot and fresh out the kitchen. Here's a
little list for you about everyone's favorite President of the United States,
George W. Bush. These are the top 10 reasons why I, Steve Tollin, am not a fan
of George W. Bush.
10. I attended a dinner party with George W. Bush two years ago. As we were
standing around before eating everyone was standing around and helping
themselves to some hors douvres. I was chatting with someone and out of the
corner of my eye I noticed George W. Bush standing by himself. Although he didn't think anyone was looking I noticed him take a chip from the chip bowl, dip it
into some salsa, bite it, and proceed to dip the same chip back into the salsa.
9. George W. Bush borrowed my copy of Ferris Bueller's Day Off three months
ago. It has yet to be returned.
8. George W. Bush claims that Star Trek: Deep Space Nine is the best Star Trek run-off series, however in a recent pole, George W. Bush had NO IDEA what a
Cardassian was.
7. I asked George W. Bush if he needed a ride home after class one day. He
asked me if I could drive him to Dairy Queen because he wanted to get a
Blizzard; I said sure. As soon as we got there he said that he changed his mind and
wanted something from Taco Bell instead. After getting to Taco Bell and taking
15 minutes to order two grilled stuffed burritos, he asked if I could pay for him
because he didn't have any cash. I said, "George W. Bush, why did you want to go
if you didn't have any cash with you?" He responded by saying, "I didn't think I
wanted to get anything."
6. George W. Bush always sings through my favorite part of the ABBA song "Waterloo"
5. After years and years of people telling George W. Bush to do so, he still
hasn't switched from Pert Plus to Head and Shoulders.
4. In 1878 George W. Bush threw a stick of butter at the Archduke of Handsometown. This single handedly started World War 12.
3. Although George W. Bush is President of the United States, he is also
President of the "Air Supply rocks!" fan club. There's simply no excuse for
that.
2. George W. Bush's llama urinated on my recliner chair.
1. George W. Bush pulled my pants down in the middle of lunch when I was in the
fifth grade.
So there you have it folks, an in depth look at why I believe that George W.
Bush is a wee wee head.
With so much drama in the R-A-D it's kinda hard being S-T-E-V-E.
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