&n
bsp;
DEMOCRAT
You have two
cows.
Your neighbor has
none.
You feel guilty for being
successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for
you.
------------------------------------------
REPUBLICAN
You have two
cows.
Your neighbor has
none.
So?
-----------------------------------------------
-------------
SOCIALIST
You have two
cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your
neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to
manage his
cow.
-----------------------------------------------
---------------
COMMUNIST
You have two
cows.
The government seizes both and provides you
with
milk.
You wait in line for hours to get
it.
It is expensive and
sour.
-----------------------------------------------
-----------------
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN
STYLE
You have two
cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of
cows.
-----------------------------------------------
-------------------
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN
STYLE
You have two
cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays
you to shoot one, milk the other, and then
pours the milk down the
drain.
-----------------------------------------------
----------------------------
AMERICAN
CORPORATION
You have two
cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do
an IPO on the 2nd
one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of
four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops
dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts
stating you have downsized and are reducing
expenses.
Your stock goes
up.
-----------------------------------------------
----------------------------------
FRENCH
CORPORATION
You have two
cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink
wine.
Life is
good.
-----------------------------------------------
---------------------------
JAPANESE
CORPORATION
You have two
cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the
size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty
times the
milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded
trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow
school.
-----------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------
GERMAN
CORPORATION
You have two
cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink
lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and
run a hundred miles an
hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of
vacation per
year.
-----------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------
ITALIAN
CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they
are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful
woman.
You break for
lunch.
Life is
good.
-----------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------
RUSSIAN
CORPORATION
You have two
cows.
You have some
vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more
vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42
cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many
cows you really
have.
-----------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------
TALIBAN
CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are
two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch
any creature' private
parts.
You get a $40 million grant from t he
US
government to find alternatives to
milk
production but use the money to buy weapons.
-----------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------
IRAQI
CORPORATION
You have two
cows.
They go into
hiding.
They send radio tapes of their
mooing.
-----------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------
BELGIAN
CORPORATION
You have one
cow.
The cow is
schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other
times he's
Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French
cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish
cow's
milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies
happy.
-----------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------
FLORIDA
CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown
cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking
one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown
one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for
both.
Some people vote for
neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at
all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell
you which one you think is the best-looking
cow.
-----------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------
CALIFORNIA
CORPORATION
You have millions of
cows.
They make real California
cheese.
Only five speak
English.
Most are
illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.