Rachel Morris
10/31/01
Women’s Studies
Oral History Essay
"I made it on my own"
Jackie has been part of my life since I can
remember. When I think of her, I can
picture her smile, hear her laugh, and feel her sweet hugs. I describe our relationship as her being my
third grandmother. She has vacationed
with my family. She has attended all of
our high school graduations, and she spends Thanksgiving at our house, when she
is not out of town, visiting one of her sons out West. She is sweet, strong, funny, intelligent and
most of all, a wonderful friend to me and my family.
This past weekend, my mom and I drove down to Richmond
and met Jackie at her house. She lives
on a quiet street outside of the city, where the trees hang over the street,
allowing just enough sunlight through to brighten the day. She met us at the porch with her pet dog,
Muggie, and she laughed as she opened the door, tickled to see us. We all hugged and as my mom and I found a
seat, Jackie ran around collecting cookies and drinks to offer to us. Her hospitality is only one of the things
that make her delightful.
We sat for a while and I listened to my mom and her
gossip as I organized my thoughts in my head.
When they realized that I wasn’t saying anything, Jackie asked how
school was going and wanted to hear all the details of my assignment so she
could be as helpful as possible. I
rambled on for a few minutes and then finally got to the point, reading her the
statement of the assignment.
“Oh my,” she sighed, “I don’t know if I will be much
help.” She seemed to let herself down
before I could even begin the interview.
I laughed; I had a few questions to ask and the interview could go where
it wanted to. My plan was to take from
it what pertained to our class and the assignment. As we began she seemed to relax, knowing that my purpose was to
gain some insight through her experiences.
Jackie was born on May 20, 1928, in Richmond,
Virginia. Her twin sister died in
childhood, making Jackie her parent’s only child. She spent most of her early years in the country, living on a
farm in Hanover County. When she was
six years old her family moved to Henrico County, which bordered the city of
Richmond.
I began our conversation by reading the first set of
questions included in the assignment outline.
“What were your experiences at school and your community? What did it mean to be a girl in the times
when you were growing up?” I asked. She
brushed her short gray hair behind her ear and said, “Rachel, I don’t really
know that things like that stuck out to me.
I never thought about it that way.
I had a very unusual upbringing.”
In their Henrico home, her next-door neighbors, the
Todds, who Jackie says influenced her parents very much, had three children,
two of whom were boys. All three of the
Todd children were older than Jackie, but they all played together and had the
best of times. She laughed to my mom
and me as she recalled moving in. “The
first time they came over to visit, I remember hiding my dolls. I didn’t want them to laugh at me.”
Hiding her dolls and becoming friends with her next-door
neighbors was a very significant thing in Jackie’s childhood. Just as it did to her, it stuck out to me
that she hid her dolls in hopes of befriending these little boys and playing
their games. She wanted to be part of
their group and she thought her dolls would hurt her chance of friendship. This did turn into a close friendship. The children attended Dumbarton Elementary
School together.
“How was school?” I asked her to recall. She explained that she was never very good
at math, but she did enjoy and take part in the minstrel shows. Her recollection of the county schools was
that they were not very good, which led to her parent’s decision to send Jackie
into the city for high school at Thomas Jefferson. Her parents did not want her to go to Glen Allen High School and
felt that attending T. J. would help her get into college.
“High school was not easy. The group of us from the county had to work very hard. I remember the girls from the city being
quite cliquish and I was never in their group,” she explained to me. “I had my close group of friends from the
county, but I made it on my own.”
Jackie was on Student Council and sponsored the Cadet
Company that was started while she was in high school. She graduated in 1945, the year World War II
was over, and following her graduation she attended Virginia Commonwealth
University and began dating her husband, Arnold. In the sophomore year in college, she was accepted at University
of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. At the
time, women were only allowed to attend Chapel Hill during their last two years
of college. Jackie decided not to go
because of Arnold and no one pushed her to attend. In 1949 she and Arnold were married, although her parents were
not happy with the decision.
Throughout the interview, Jackie made comments referring
to her mother and father. She loved
both of her parents. She felt that her
mother was extremely overprotective, although she allowed Jackie to visit with
relatives and playmates on a regular basis, but only with people her mother
trusted. Jackie described herself as a
trusted and obedient child. “I loved my
father more than words could say,” she told me. “He didn’t deal with all the details though, mother did.”
When asked who her biggest influences were she did not
say her parents, her Aunt Helen and Aunt Janie were. Both women were married but neither one had any children. Every summer Jackie would visit Virginia
Beach with her Aunt Helen and her husband.
Her uncle taught her how to swim in the ocean. She remembers spending lots of her childhood in their Richmond
home, where she now lives.
Her Aunt Janie and her husband, John, lived in
Ashland. Janie had a love for books,
which turned into a love of Jackie’s.
During her adolescent years she would frequently visit the couple. John would pick Jackie up on Friday afternoons
and she would spend the weekend in Ashland where she had many friends, some of
whom she dated, but always in a group atmosphere.
After Arnold and Jackie were married, they moved around a
little bit. While Arnold was in hotel
school at Cornell, Jackie had a few jobs before she got a job at the
library. She worked at the circulation
desk, and when the children’s librarian retired, she took over the
position. She loved her job but had to
leave once Arnold graduated. In the
years following, Jackie had two sons, Mark and Greg, who are now in their
forties. Arnold became the Director of
Food Services at Princeton and they lived there for eight years, returning to
his family’s hotel in Virginia Beach during the summers.
In 1964, Jackie brought her two sons back to Richmond
after she divorced Arnold, due to infidelity and alcoholism, something that I
have learned from my mother over the years, not from Jackie. Her family helped her with everything from
finding a home to taking care of her two boys.
She took a job with the library in the city and in the fall of 1965 she
was hired at the Fairfield library, the first in Henrico county. This is where she has spent the rest of her
adult life.
I look at Jackie after her interview and see that she is
a strong, intelligent woman. We did not
discuss her divorce. Although I had questions
about it, I know that it is a part of her life that she has come to terms with
and the closure doesn’t need to be discussed.
Jackie’s opening statement has taken on new meaning to me now. She did have an unusual experience. As a child she was given opportunities that
were not open to all women. Her mother
wanted her to attend college; she wanted Jackie to be educated, which ended up
saving Jackie later on in her life after her divorce. On the other hand, she was given the opportunity to be educated
at a higher level, but when the decision came to stay at VCU or go on to UNC,
no one pushed her to go to the elite school.
No one wanted her to marry Arnold, but no one said that she didn’t need
to get married. It was assumed that
marriage was more important. She told
me that although her favorite time of her life was the time she spent in
Princeton, she also has one regret. She
wishes that she had taken advantage of the situation and gotten her Masters in
library science. Instead, she stayed
home with her children and didn’t think about it because at that point in her
life, women were not being pushed in that direction.
Not only did the gender issue affect her education, it
affected her with her relationships throughout her life, beginning with her
childhood friends continuing through adulthood. When Jackie got divorced, it was not common. She was put into a situation where she had
to be strong and had to work hard at work and at home.
I am proud to know this woman. I am proud to think that her mother pushed to have Jackie
educated at the highest level. I am
proud to think that two of her role models were women. I am proud to think that
Jackie was able to stand up for herself and get out of an unhealthy marriage
for herself and her children. I am
proud that she worked hard and provided things and didn’t depend on a man. I think that her comment referring to high
school can be applied to her whole life, “I made it on my own.”