Study Guide for the Bradshaw Video

This web handout is a study guide which you can use to understand the Bradshaw video on the family system. It includes a series of phrases that Bradshaw uses during the video you saw. You must know what these phrases mean to do well on the test.

• Having a little child inside who did not get her/his developmental needs met.
  
• Being parented by your parent's 2 year old wounded child.
  
• Needs are recylced.
  
• Children are needy by nature.
  
• The toddler stage is were poisonous pedagogy really comes into play.
  
• Oppositional bonding/counter dependency stage
  
• autonomy versus shame/doubt
  
• I can get angry and you will still be there for me.
  
• Emotion is a form of energy.
  
• Mother and father can be good and bad.
  
• Toxic shame/spiritual wound
  
• Shame becomes your identity.
  
• Rather than I did something wrong something is wrong with me.
  
• You become an object of contempt onto yourself.
  
• I am no longer in me.
  
• The spiritual wound is it is not OK to be who I am--who you are is not OK.
  
• Rather than having parents who allow us to become who we were meant to become we have parents who told us how we shoud be.
  
• We either become more than human (perfectionism) or we become less than human.
  
• Perfectionism, control, blame, and righteousness are cover ups for shame.
  
• Abuse bonds you to the abuser.
  
• All or nothing
  
• We don't know what we feel, need, or want.
  
• At this stage people start to numb out.
  
• Confronted by a tormenter who they love.
  
• You feel with detail.
  
• No talk, no feel households
  
• To heal the pain you have to embrace the pain.
  
• To heal the shame you have to embrace the shame.
  
• We idealize our parents.
  
• It is OK to be who you are.

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