Notes on the Bradshaw video for Criminology
Study Guide for the Bradshaw Video
This web handout is a study guide which you can use to understand the
Bradshaw video on the family system. It includes a series of phrases
that Bradshaw uses during the video you saw. You must know what these
phrases mean to do well on the test.
-
Having a little child inside who did not get her/his developmental needs met.
- Being parented by your parent's 2 year old wounded child.
- Needs are recylced.
- Children are needy by nature.
- The toddler stage is were poisonous pedagogy really comes into play.
- Oppositional bonding/counter dependency stage
- autonomy versus shame/doubt
- I can get angry and you will still be there for me.
- Emotion is a form of energy.
- Mother and father can be good and bad.
- Toxic shame/spiritual wound
- Shame becomes your identity.
- Rather than I did something wrong something is wrong with me.
- You become an object of contempt onto yourself.
- I am no longer in me.
- The spiritual wound is it is not OK to be who I am--who you are is
not OK.
- Rather than having parents who allow us to become who we were meant
to become we have parents who told us how we shoud be.
- We either become more than human (perfectionism) or we become less
than human.
- Perfectionism, control, blame, and righteousness are cover ups for shame.
- Abuse bonds you to the abuser.
- All or nothing
- We don't know what we feel, need, or want.
- At this stage people start to numb out.
- Confronted by a tormenter who they love.
- You feel with detail.
- No talk, no feel households
- To heal the pain you have to embrace the pain.
- To heal the shame you have to embrace the shame.
- We idealize our parents.
- It is OK to be who you are.
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