Frequently Asked Questions 
1. So WHEN is the wedding???!!!!
2. Any idea WHERE the wedding will be?
3. OK, since you kids don't know anything about wedding plans, tell me something concrete, what are you going nowadays?
4. How does it feel to be engaged?
5. How do you do it? I mean being so far away and all?
6. Are you going to change your name?
7. How did your parents respond to the engagement and the future Scottish son-in-law?
8. What specialty are you going into? Where are you thinking about residency? Where will you live?
9. Are you going to make Iain Chinese?
10. How will be make sure that your children stays in touch of their multi-cultural heritage?
11. How's Elsa?
1. So WHEN is the wedding???!!!!
We don't know. The original plan is for both of us to get our doctorates and then perform the ceremony. I'll obtain my M.D. from Eastern Virginia Medical School in May of 2005 and hopefully Iain will obtain his Ph.D in Political Science and International Relations around the same time. So the engagement will be a couple of years which gives us plenty of time for planning and also worry about disserations and United States Medical Licensing Exams in the meantime.
2. Any idea WHERE the wedding will be?
No Clue. It could be anywhere!!!! That's the wonderful part:) Anywhere in the state of Virginia from Radford to Richmond, not excluding the charming chaple of the University of Virginia in Charlottesville since that was where we met. Or it might not even be in the continental United States!!! It could be in Edinburgh, Scotland or Shanghai, China, or alternatively, compromising and be somewhere between North America and Asia (like Midway or Guam, but looking for more politically stable countries with a romantic atmosphere, maybe Hawaii), or between North America and Europe (I hear Iceland is really nice).
3. OK, since you kids don't know anything about wedding plans, tell me something concrete, what are you going nowadays?
Hey, we have a couple of years to plan the weddning, we might not know when or where, but we do know how!! With style!!! And we also know that Iain will be wearing his kilt with the Ross family tartain (which is mostly different shades of red with some other colors as well) and a sword, and to match that, I'll need to find something suitable of a Ming dynasty empress. This is not something we can find in a bridal magazine overnight, it will require a lot of work and research.
But currently, I am a second year medical student at Eastern Virginia Medical School in Norfolk, Virginia. Don't ask me what specialty I'll go into, because I'm still keeping my options open. I'm looking at subspecialities of Internal Medicine and Emergency Medicine, not also and Iain is finishing up his Master of Science Degree in International Relations at the prestigious London School of Economics and Political Science in London, England (duh??!! where else??!).
4. How does it feel to be engaged?
Surprised, excited, nervous, floating on air, want to scream, sing and dance at same time. With almost ten weddings in my class the summer between first and second year of medical school (the summer that I ran away to China), and everyone getting engaged, I didn't think it was going to happen to me, at least not so quickly. But sometimes, you just know. Iain and I have not known each other for a long time, and for the most of that period (a year and half), we've been quite a distance apart (we are the king and queen of long distance relationships). But sometime, it doesn't take five or ten years to find your soulmate. We realize that we've found what we've been searching for in each other and treasure our happiness together.
Iain told me that he actually "knew" one evening when we were dancing in the surf - this was after I had dragged him out of bed at 5AM that morning to volunteer as part of the medical crew at a half marathon, rubbing down sweaty legs of runner and putting ice bags in armspits and groins at the finish line, and then after a brief nap where he just completely collapsed on the couch, got him up again to go to a friend's house for barbecue and canoeing, and then attended a concert on the beach by LIVE and danced in the waves under the moonlight.
5. How do you do it? I mean being so far away and all?
It's hard, see the Interim Page. Perserverance, commitment and dedication. Also discount international and long distance phone cards/plans and lots of email. We are both committed to our work and careers right now and know that we must sacrifice the present and work really hard to build a wonderful future for ourselves and our children. We value the same things in life, simple pleasures, family and friends are paremount to us.
When my friend J.R. made the engagement annoucement in class, he recited some lines from Shakespeare (being a drama major from Carnegie Mellon) that echoed our feelings.
"Sir, I love you more than words can wield the matter,
Dearer than eyesight, space, and liberty
Beyond what can be valued, rich or rare
No less than life, with grace, health, beauty, honour
As much as child e'er loved or father found;
A love that makes breath poor, and speech unable,
Beyond all manner of so much I love you."
6. Are you going to change your name?
Not quite sure yet. I'm been told that once you get licensed in your maiden name, it's a pain in the butt to change your name (no reason not to though).. But then I could be Dr. Qi, or Dr. Bolton, or Dr. Ross (which is Iain's family name and he doesn't care which of his names I take), or I can hyphenate my name with any of the above combinations.
7. How did your parents respond to the engagement and the future Scottish son-in-law?
Well, my parents knew that Iain and his Mum were planning to visit Radford for the hoidays, this was back in November. On the night of the engagement, I called home after the ballet, chatted with my mom for a while and inquired about how she's been sleeping. She said that after talking to my aunt on the computer the night before, she didn't get much sleep. So I bid her good night and kept my mouth shut until the morning (or else she wouldn't get any sleep again!) Besides, the evening of the engagement, we didn't tell anyone, just kept it to ourselves and enjoyed the moment (well, except the Chesterfield County police department of course - see the bottom of Christmas 2002 page).
The next afternoon, December 21, 2002, it was Saturday and I called my parents from Midlothian. My mom picked up the phone and I asked her where my father was. She said he was outside and went to get him. So when my father picked up the phone, my mom thinking that I had only wanted to talk to my dad had hung up on her end. So I had to get both of them on the phone at the same time. I asked them if they were sitting down. They said yes. Then I told them that Iain and I had gotten engaged. At first, I think my parents didn't quite understand and my dad said "what?!", which Iain had heard, sitting right next to me, and he got this really worried look on his face. So I repeated "engaged" again and in Chinese, and then my parents got it. And they congratulated us.
I then had to explain the whole story and why I didn't tell them last night. My dad laughed and said that now my mother wouldn't get any sleep tonight (even though I had called her in the afternoon). Then they spend the rest of the afternoon writing letter to all our friends and relatives, but were so good and didn't tell anyone verbally. Since I was coming home the nest day, they figured that I'll just tell everyone the news myself.
I went home on Sunday, December 22, and Iain and his mother would visit Radford Christmas Day. But since according to Western tradition, Iain should have asked for my father's permission first before he porposed. So all of our friends were advising my father on how to give a formal "inquisition" when Iain formally asks his permission for my hand in marriage (which was something that Iain's Mum insitsted that he should do anyways). So Iain was very nervous. "What if he said 'no'?" he asked me. "Well," I said, "There's always the option of eloping to Las Vegas or we'll just pretend that Friday was a rehearsal and do the real proposal again."
The "interview" went very well. My dad asked Iain two questions: how did we meet and why does he love me. I was in tears hearing Iain's response by the end.
8. What specialty are you going into? Where are you thinking about residency? Where will you live?
I'm still keeping my options open about medical specialties. But I would like to have a life and tend to family with whatever career path I decide. I'm looking at Emergency Medicine or potentially a subspecialty of Internal Medicine. I'll start my third year rotations in July and then I'll be applying for residency programs fall 2004. Iain and I are working on coordinating our future plans. Being both British and American, he can work and live anywhere. I am considering doing some of my fourth year rotations abroad if necessary. Once we both finish our training and school, we can also live and work anywhere in the country or in the world, for that matter. With his degree in International Relations and Political Science, it's highly probably that we'll settle in the D.C., New York, or Boston area. We like the East Coast (West Coast is lovely to visit though:)
9. Are you going to make Iain Chinese?
Well, not really. He is very skilled at chopsticks and is a black belt in several martial arts forms. I'm teaching him Chinese (abet slowly): he knows useful conversational words like "big nose" (da-bi-zi), "porcupine" (ci-wei, which is my nickname for him), "little tiger" (xiao-hu, which is what he calls me), "hello" (ni-hao), "uncle" (bo-fu) and "aunt" (bu-mu, which is how he addresses my parents), and "I love you" (wo-ai-ni). You know, just all the important ones first. He even took the Chinese medicine we give him for sinus and sore throat and watched Chinese TV movies. And of course he's so charming that my parents love him!!!
We will be going to China sometime in the near future (in a few years).
10. How will be make sure that your children stays in touch of their multi-cultural heritage?
Well, that's easy and that's also something that we firmly believe in. There will be four of them (hey, we were both only child's, there's some catching up and compensations that we have to do for our own lack of siblings!!), two girls and two boys but we can't control that and since we both have twins in our extended family (me more so than he does), we'll never know what might pop out, so to speak. But they will be bilingual, if not tri-lingual. Heck, we won't even teach them English (they'll pick that up once they start school anyways). Between the two of us, we'll be teaching them Chinese, French, German, and a little bit a Spanish. They'll play piano and violin and also learn martial arts. We've talked about this at length and have wonderful plans for our family in the future.
11. How's Elsa?
Thanks for asking, she's doing great. There's a page dedicated to her, the Elsa page.
2. Any idea WHERE the wedding will be?
3. OK, since you kids don't know anything about wedding plans, tell me something concrete, what are you going nowadays?
4. How does it feel to be engaged?
5. How do you do it? I mean being so far away and all?
6. Are you going to change your name?
7. How did your parents respond to the engagement and the future Scottish son-in-law?
8. What specialty are you going into? Where are you thinking about residency? Where will you live?
9. Are you going to make Iain Chinese?
10. How will be make sure that your children stays in touch of their multi-cultural heritage?
11. How's Elsa?
1. So WHEN is the wedding???!!!!
We don't know. The original plan is for both of us to get our doctorates and then perform the ceremony. I'll obtain my M.D. from Eastern Virginia Medical School in May of 2005 and hopefully Iain will obtain his Ph.D in Political Science and International Relations around the same time. So the engagement will be a couple of years which gives us plenty of time for planning and also worry about disserations and United States Medical Licensing Exams in the meantime.
2. Any idea WHERE the wedding will be?
No Clue. It could be anywhere!!!! That's the wonderful part:) Anywhere in the state of Virginia from Radford to Richmond, not excluding the charming chaple of the University of Virginia in Charlottesville since that was where we met. Or it might not even be in the continental United States!!! It could be in Edinburgh, Scotland or Shanghai, China, or alternatively, compromising and be somewhere between North America and Asia (like Midway or Guam, but looking for more politically stable countries with a romantic atmosphere, maybe Hawaii), or between North America and Europe (I hear Iceland is really nice).
3. OK, since you kids don't know anything about wedding plans, tell me something concrete, what are you going nowadays?
Hey, we have a couple of years to plan the weddning, we might not know when or where, but we do know how!! With style!!! And we also know that Iain will be wearing his kilt with the Ross family tartain (which is mostly different shades of red with some other colors as well) and a sword, and to match that, I'll need to find something suitable of a Ming dynasty empress. This is not something we can find in a bridal magazine overnight, it will require a lot of work and research.
But currently, I am a second year medical student at Eastern Virginia Medical School in Norfolk, Virginia. Don't ask me what specialty I'll go into, because I'm still keeping my options open. I'm looking at subspecialities of Internal Medicine and Emergency Medicine, not also and Iain is finishing up his Master of Science Degree in International Relations at the prestigious London School of Economics and Political Science in London, England (duh??!! where else??!).
4. How does it feel to be engaged?
Surprised, excited, nervous, floating on air, want to scream, sing and dance at same time. With almost ten weddings in my class the summer between first and second year of medical school (the summer that I ran away to China), and everyone getting engaged, I didn't think it was going to happen to me, at least not so quickly. But sometimes, you just know. Iain and I have not known each other for a long time, and for the most of that period (a year and half), we've been quite a distance apart (we are the king and queen of long distance relationships). But sometime, it doesn't take five or ten years to find your soulmate. We realize that we've found what we've been searching for in each other and treasure our happiness together.
Iain told me that he actually "knew" one evening when we were dancing in the surf - this was after I had dragged him out of bed at 5AM that morning to volunteer as part of the medical crew at a half marathon, rubbing down sweaty legs of runner and putting ice bags in armspits and groins at the finish line, and then after a brief nap where he just completely collapsed on the couch, got him up again to go to a friend's house for barbecue and canoeing, and then attended a concert on the beach by LIVE and danced in the waves under the moonlight.
5. How do you do it? I mean being so far away and all?
It's hard, see the Interim Page. Perserverance, commitment and dedication. Also discount international and long distance phone cards/plans and lots of email. We are both committed to our work and careers right now and know that we must sacrifice the present and work really hard to build a wonderful future for ourselves and our children. We value the same things in life, simple pleasures, family and friends are paremount to us.
When my friend J.R. made the engagement annoucement in class, he recited some lines from Shakespeare (being a drama major from Carnegie Mellon) that echoed our feelings.
"Sir, I love you more than words can wield the matter,
Dearer than eyesight, space, and liberty
Beyond what can be valued, rich or rare
No less than life, with grace, health, beauty, honour
As much as child e'er loved or father found;
A love that makes breath poor, and speech unable,
Beyond all manner of so much I love you."
6. Are you going to change your name?
Not quite sure yet. I'm been told that once you get licensed in your maiden name, it's a pain in the butt to change your name (no reason not to though).. But then I could be Dr. Qi, or Dr. Bolton, or Dr. Ross (which is Iain's family name and he doesn't care which of his names I take), or I can hyphenate my name with any of the above combinations.
7. How did your parents respond to the engagement and the future Scottish son-in-law?
Well, my parents knew that Iain and his Mum were planning to visit Radford for the hoidays, this was back in November. On the night of the engagement, I called home after the ballet, chatted with my mom for a while and inquired about how she's been sleeping. She said that after talking to my aunt on the computer the night before, she didn't get much sleep. So I bid her good night and kept my mouth shut until the morning (or else she wouldn't get any sleep again!) Besides, the evening of the engagement, we didn't tell anyone, just kept it to ourselves and enjoyed the moment (well, except the Chesterfield County police department of course - see the bottom of Christmas 2002 page).
The next afternoon, December 21, 2002, it was Saturday and I called my parents from Midlothian. My mom picked up the phone and I asked her where my father was. She said he was outside and went to get him. So when my father picked up the phone, my mom thinking that I had only wanted to talk to my dad had hung up on her end. So I had to get both of them on the phone at the same time. I asked them if they were sitting down. They said yes. Then I told them that Iain and I had gotten engaged. At first, I think my parents didn't quite understand and my dad said "what?!", which Iain had heard, sitting right next to me, and he got this really worried look on his face. So I repeated "engaged" again and in Chinese, and then my parents got it. And they congratulated us.
I then had to explain the whole story and why I didn't tell them last night. My dad laughed and said that now my mother wouldn't get any sleep tonight (even though I had called her in the afternoon). Then they spend the rest of the afternoon writing letter to all our friends and relatives, but were so good and didn't tell anyone verbally. Since I was coming home the nest day, they figured that I'll just tell everyone the news myself.
I went home on Sunday, December 22, and Iain and his mother would visit Radford Christmas Day. But since according to Western tradition, Iain should have asked for my father's permission first before he porposed. So all of our friends were advising my father on how to give a formal "inquisition" when Iain formally asks his permission for my hand in marriage (which was something that Iain's Mum insitsted that he should do anyways). So Iain was very nervous. "What if he said 'no'?" he asked me. "Well," I said, "There's always the option of eloping to Las Vegas or we'll just pretend that Friday was a rehearsal and do the real proposal again."
The "interview" went very well. My dad asked Iain two questions: how did we meet and why does he love me. I was in tears hearing Iain's response by the end.
8. What specialty are you going into? Where are you thinking about residency? Where will you live?
I'm still keeping my options open about medical specialties. But I would like to have a life and tend to family with whatever career path I decide. I'm looking at Emergency Medicine or potentially a subspecialty of Internal Medicine. I'll start my third year rotations in July and then I'll be applying for residency programs fall 2004. Iain and I are working on coordinating our future plans. Being both British and American, he can work and live anywhere. I am considering doing some of my fourth year rotations abroad if necessary. Once we both finish our training and school, we can also live and work anywhere in the country or in the world, for that matter. With his degree in International Relations and Political Science, it's highly probably that we'll settle in the D.C., New York, or Boston area. We like the East Coast (West Coast is lovely to visit though:)
9. Are you going to make Iain Chinese?
Well, not really. He is very skilled at chopsticks and is a black belt in several martial arts forms. I'm teaching him Chinese (abet slowly): he knows useful conversational words like "big nose" (da-bi-zi), "porcupine" (ci-wei, which is my nickname for him), "little tiger" (xiao-hu, which is what he calls me), "hello" (ni-hao), "uncle" (bo-fu) and "aunt" (bu-mu, which is how he addresses my parents), and "I love you" (wo-ai-ni). You know, just all the important ones first. He even took the Chinese medicine we give him for sinus and sore throat and watched Chinese TV movies. And of course he's so charming that my parents love him!!!
We will be going to China sometime in the near future (in a few years).
10. How will be make sure that your children stays in touch of their multi-cultural heritage?
Well, that's easy and that's also something that we firmly believe in. There will be four of them (hey, we were both only child's, there's some catching up and compensations that we have to do for our own lack of siblings!!), two girls and two boys but we can't control that and since we both have twins in our extended family (me more so than he does), we'll never know what might pop out, so to speak. But they will be bilingual, if not tri-lingual. Heck, we won't even teach them English (they'll pick that up once they start school anyways). Between the two of us, we'll be teaching them Chinese, French, German, and a little bit a Spanish. They'll play piano and violin and also learn martial arts. We've talked about this at length and have wonderful plans for our family in the future.
11. How's Elsa?
Thanks for asking, she's doing great. There's a page dedicated to her, the Elsa page.
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