>
>"Winners of the "worst analogies ever written in a high school essay"
>contest."
>
>He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who
>went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes
>with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools
>about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes
>with a pinhole in it.  (Joseph Romm, Washington)
>
>She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle
>from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
>(Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station)
>
>The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball
>wouldn't. (Russell Beland, Springfield)
>
>McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with
>vegetable soup. (Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring)
>
>From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal
>quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on
>at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30. (Roy Ashley, Washington)
>
>Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.(Chuck Smith,
>Woodbridge)
>
>Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
>(Russell Beland, Springfield)
>
>Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access
>T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake
>(Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills)
>
>Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.  (Unknown)
>
>He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. (Jack Bross, Chevy Chase)
>
>The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them
>in hot grease. (Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring)
>
>Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this
>guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."
>(Russell Beland, Springfield)
>
>Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy
>field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at
>6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed
>of 35 mph.  (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)
>
>The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr.
>Pepper can. (Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.)
>
>They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that
>resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth (Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.)
>
>John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also
>never met. (Russell Beland, Springfield)
>
>The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of
>metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play. (Barbara
>Fetherolf, Alexandria)
>
>His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
>underpants in a dryer without Cling Free (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)
>
>The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon. (Unknown)
>