Date: Tue, 24 Oct 1995 21:21:08 -0700
Subject: sex humor


>Dating Guide
>
>what they say:
>        what they mean:
>___________________________________________________________
>"Did you come?"
>        "Because I didn't."
>
>"I have something to tell you."
>        "Get tested."
>
>"I'm a romantic."
>        "I'm poor."
>
>"I'll give you a call."
>        "I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you
again."
>
>"I never meant to hurt you."
>        "I thought you weren't a virgin."
>
>"Trust me."
>        "let's just keep this between you and me."
>
>"I love you."
>        "God, what have I gotten myself into?"
>
>"I think we should just be friends."
>        "You're ugly."
>
>"Haven't I seen you before?"
>        "Nice ass."
>
>"I want to make love."
>        "I want to make love."
>
>"Was it good for you?"
>        "I'm insecure about my manhood."
>
>"We need to talk."
>        "I'm pregnant."
>
>"I had a wonderful time last night."
>        "Who the hell are you?"
>
>"I've been thinking a lot."
>        "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."
>
>"I've learned a lot from you."
>        "Next."
>
>"I want a commitment."
>        "I'm sick of masturbation."
>
>"I think we should see other people."
>        "I have been seeing other people."
>
>"Let's get married."
>        "Does that mean we can do it now?"
>
>"We don't have to do anything until you're ready."
>        "Put out or get out."
>
>"I feel it's time to express our love for each other."
>        "Give me head."
>
>"I still think about you."
>        "I miss the sex."
>
>"Is there something wrong?"
>        "Is it supposed to be this soft?"
>
>"You're so mature."
>        "I hope you're eighteen."
>
>"It's never been like this before."
>        "It's my first time."
>
>"Yes...Yes...(scream!)"
>        "Aren't you done yet?"