When {STUDENT} opens her mouth in class discussion, it was only to change whichever foot was previously in there. {STUDENT} completed each and every assignment to his entire satisfaction. {STUDENT} is technically sound, but socially impossible. {STUDENT} reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere. This young lady has delusions of adequacy. In the last four weeks of the quarter, {STUDENT} reached rock bottom -- and started to dig. {STUDENT} sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. {STUDENT} has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age. {STUDENT} should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better. {STUDENT} works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap. This student is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. Subject: [Fwd: Humor: Excepts from British Military fitness reports] Date: Tue, 5 Nov 1996 16:39:13 -0700 The British Military writes EPR's an officer fitness reports. The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people's "206's".... - His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. - I would not breed from this Officer. - This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be. - When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there. - He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction. - He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle. - This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere. - This young lady has delusions of adequacy. - When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably. - Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig. - She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. - He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age. - This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better. - This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. Source: "Jackspeak: The Pusser's Rum Guide to Royal Navy Slanguage" by Rick Jolly, 1989. Date: Fri, 16 Jan 1998 15:09:48 -0500 Subject: JOKE: Letter of Recommendation > Letter of Recommendation - > > Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found > hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without > wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never > thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always > finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended > measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee > breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no > vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound > knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be > classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot > dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be > promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be > sent away as soon as possible. > > Sd/- > Project Leader > > ------------------------------------------------------------------- > > A MEMO WAS SOON SENT FOLLOWING THE LETTER: > > That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the > report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the > alternative lines 1, 3, 5, 7, ... for my true assessment of him. > > Regards, > Sd/- > Project Leader