To:   SmallTalk Developers
Subject:  Occupational Descriptions


> An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value
of
> nothing.
>
> An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the
> wounded.
>
> A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is
> shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)
>
> An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he
> predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
>
> A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the
> personality to be an accountant.
>
> An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that
> decreases the chances
> that there will be another bomb on the plane. (Laurence J. Peter)
>
> A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a
> way you don't understand.
>
> A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat
> which isn't there. (Charles R. Darwin) {Guy's Favorite}
>
> A topologist is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee
cup
> and a doughnut.
>
> A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a
> "brief." (Franz Kafka)
>
> A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl
> enters the room.
>
> A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
>
> A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked
> children.
>
> A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you
> the time. {Guy}
>
> A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that
> you will look forward to the trip.