Article 7822 of rec.humor.funny:
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Organization: www.hmvh.de.vu
From: NOSPAM.hmvh@arcor.de (=?ISO-8859-1?Q?Herby_H=F6nigsperger?=)
Subject: Need Milk?
Keywords: chuckle, forwarded
Approved: funny-request@netfunny.com
Path: news.rice.edu!newsfeed.rice.edu!rice!news.harvard.edu!iad-peer.news.verio.net!news.verio.net!news.maxwell.syr.edu!feed2.news.rcn.net!rcn!news.netfunny.com!funny-request
Followup-To: rec.humor.d
Message-ID: <S1365.1766@netfunny.com>
Date: Fri, 21 Mar 2003 19:30:00 PST
Lines: 67
Xref: news.rice.edu rec.humor.funny:7822


"Real Notes to British Milkmen":


* Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one.

* Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.

* Cancel one pint after the day after today.

* Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.

* Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep
   pecking the tops off the milk.

* Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today.

* Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons
   on the dole.

* Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and
   I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.

* Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints,
   but the other way round.

* When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because
   I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress.

* Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's
   Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over
   a cup of tea.

* My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you
   deliver or do I have to shake the bottle?

* Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months
   old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.

* Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant. Milk is
   needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.

* From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on
   the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't
   want any milk.

* My back door is open. Please put milk in fridge, get money out of
   cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we
   want to play bingo tonight.

* Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I
   wrote this note yesterday.

* When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out
   and put newspaper inside the screen door. PS. Don't leave any milk.

* No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead
   until further notice.

[Note - yet another anonymous piece circulating for a while now - ed.]

-- 
Selected by Jim Griffith.  MAIL your joke to funny@netfunny.com.
If you post instead of mailing, it screws up the reply-address sometimes.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.  A Daemon will auto-reply.

This joke's link: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/03/Mar/milkmen.html