Date: Mon, 17 Mar 1997 14:14:55 -0800 (PST)
Subject: Why engineers don't collaborate well with lit majors


>Fuzzy Meets Techie
>or, Why Psych Majors Almost Never Date Engineers
>
>Creative Writing
>Prof Miller
>In-class Assignment for Wednesday
>
>Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The
>process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to
>his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first
>paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and
>then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a
>third paragraph, and so on, back and forth. Remember to re-read what has
>been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is
>over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------
>
>At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
>chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now
>reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
>liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind
>off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about
>him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
>the question.
>
>Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now
>in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the
>neuroses of an air-headed bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one
>sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into
>his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of
>resistance so far ..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
>flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The
>jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the
>cockpit.
>
>He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt
>one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
>ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
>hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes
>Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her
>newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited and bored her. She
>stared out the window, dreaming of her youth--when the days had passed
>unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to
>distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful
>things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?"
>she pondered wistfully.
>
>Little did she know it, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
>Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mother ship launched
>the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks
>who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress
>had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who
>were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the
>passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth,
>carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to
>stop them they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium
>fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
>top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast
>of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie
>and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the
>conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty!
>Let's blow `em out of the sky!"
>
>This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
>writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.
>
>Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at
>writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
>
>You total $#*&.
>
>Stupid %&@#$!
>