Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny.reruns
Subject: future computing newspaper
From: robison@m.cs.uiuc.edu (Arch Robison)
Keywords: original, smirk, originally appeared in third quarter, 1988
Date: Sat, 8 Nov 97 19:20:09 EST

Soon available at checkout counters everywhere:

                      *NATIONAL COMP SCI ENQUIRER*


EXCLUSIVE PHOTO:  Turing machine with two heads!

STARTLING EVIDENCE:  LISP came from Mars?

SHOCKING EXPOSE:  Illegal core dumping in Lake Erie!

TRUE STORY:  Man inverts singular matrix and lives to tell!

REVELATION:  Top scientist discovers New Jersey on Karnaugh map!

OS SCANDAL:  Unix and Ms.  Dos found in love nest!

PSYCHIC PREDICTS:  Fixed points will break again!

CIA SECRET:  Proof of P=NP found in UFO!

ANALYSTS PANIC:  Prime numbers missing from IEEE floating point?

SOFTWARE REVOLUTION:  Marxists scheme classless Smalltalk!

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- Arch D.  Robison