Date:    Fri, 15 Mar 1996 16:18:48 -0500
Subject: Old Blonde jokes <Offensive to Blondes>

Hey, no offense to you hair-color-challenged people...  But everyone loves a
blonde joke, especially us redheads ;)


      Q:   What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
      A:   Gifted.

      Q:   How do a blonde's braincells die?
      A:   Alone.

      Q:   What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
      A:   Pregnant.

      Q:   What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
      A:   Artificial intelligence.

      Q:  How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
      A:  Shine a flashlight in her ear.

      Q:  Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
      A:  It takes too long to re-train them.

      Q:  How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
      A:  There's white-out on the screen.

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A blind man, enters a Lesbian Bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool, and orders a drink.
After sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells
to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet.
In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says,
"Before you tell that joke, you should know something.
The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and
I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate.
What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight
lifter. The lady to your  right is a blonde, and she's a pro wrestler.
Think about it seriously, Mister.
You still wan tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."






 As a frequent flier, I get annoyed when other passengers disregard the
airline attendant's pleas to stay seated when the plane taxies to the gate.
One attendant captured my heart by announcing: "The captain will be parking
the aircraft at Gate 41 in approximately two minutes. I've seen the captain's
car. So if I were you, I'd remain seated."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Following a brief hospital stay, a gentleman received a questionnaire asking
him to grade the facility in several different categories. For the most part,
he gave them high marks. However, at the end of the form, under "Other
Comments," he wrote: "My principle motivation in striving to lead a
law-abiding and upright life is the fear that prison food might be the equal
of that served in your hospital."
______
 It's my wife who makes our budget work - the secret is that we go without a
lot of things I don't need.



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