Unwanted Presents
| Published 12/10/04

Graphic by: Erin Vesser

With no snow in sight, but the traffic in the malls and shopping centers increasing, there is no denying that the holidays are upon us. With the holidays here, the anticipation for gifts is in high gear.

Along with gifts, there are other things that must be done, like sending out all those "Happy Holidays" cards. Talk about a lot of writing.  How embarrassing is it when you think you are awesome and have your cards sent out in advanced when you receive one from someone that you didn't send one to? The scramble is on to buy one card to send to this person and make it look like you didn't forget them.

Also, you don't want to forget to buy your presents early because if you don't, the present will most likely be sold out. Last year my sister had been asking for a white reversible fur jacket from Wet Seal. I went out for it about two days before Christmas only to find that it was sold out. Of course, it did! I searched high and low for this stupid jacket only to return home empty handed. I had to settle on buying her a gray Radford t-shirt. Talk about a crappy present.

While I am on the topic of crappy presents, I have had the pleasure of receiving many of these. My grandma is notorious for sending such random and unwanted presents. For three years in a row, I have received the same aqua pleather wallet embroidered with bright yellow flowers. Yuck. My older sister received a Santa Claus figurine - you know, the ones that your parents decorate your house with - when she was 19. Did I mention that my younger sister, at age 10, got a pair of sapphire rhinestone earrings about the size of a nickel? Yeah, she didn't even have her ears pierced.

I thought maybe it was just my family that was doomed to receive such presents, but indeed many of my friends have gotten such presents at one time or another. At 16-years-old, my friend received a pink and yellow BARBIE sweater. How humiliating, especially at a fragile age!

Another friend of mine got a Ninja Turtle helicopter from his grandma when he was younger. He felt so cool. So the next year when the helicopter set was long forgotten, he ripped open the present from his grandma expecting another great present only to be staring at the familiar green Ninja Turtle helicopter set!

My other friend received a card from a family member. She started opening it up expecting there to be money in it, but, to her dismay, four Looney Toons stamps fell out. How bleak.

So this year when you open up a black velvet jewelry box only to find a pair of tacky, aqua, grandma-like, garage sale earrings, just remember it was in good thought. Christmas is about giving, not receiving. This year, make sure that you give that 6 pack of white cotton Hanes socks to the idiot that sent them.