Nice Guys, Lament No More
| Published 10/01/04

Graphic by: Doni Neel

Boy meets girl. Boy takes girl out. Boy opens doors and pays for dinner. Girl says, "You're a really nice guy, but...." Sound familiar?

Last Friday night, I was at a party and this seemed to the recurring theme among the guys I talked to. They were all genuinely nice and genuinely single. Each told me of their "nice-guy lament:" how cool some chick was and how she seemed to only be into guys who treated her badly. Thus, this only added fuel to the "girls like bad boys" fire.

Ah, the bad boys. I could devote page upon page to them, but I would be wasting my time. I'm sure you know the type: the hot, unemployed, wannabe rock star with the drug or alcohol addiction, or the college drop-out commitment phobe with a criminal record. The list could go on forever. As much as I hate to admit it, nice guys weren't always my first priority.

One might wonder why. I wish I could give a concrete and/or logical answer. Maybe it has something to do with that forbidden fruit complex. I believe most girls will date at least one guy who'll treat them like complete crap. For some girls, this is a stage which they will outgrow. However, others are simply a lost cause. Blame it on self-esteem issues, missing father figures or stupidity, but there will always be those girls who can't get enough of those bad boys.

Nice guys, don't lose hope. Not all girls are looking for an absolutely gorgeous guy who will cheat on them and give them black eyes. I promise. From what I've seen, the older a girl gets, the more she'll want a stand-up kind of man. That's when you, Mr. Nice Guy, will enter the picture. There are cool and attractive girls out there who want nothing more than a guy who will listen, who will spend time with them before trying to get into their pants and who doesn't believe chivalry is dead.

I won't end this with something cliché like "One day, you'll find the perfect woman for you." However, chances are you will, and chances are you might become slightly bitter or cynical before you find her.

In the meantime, thanks for not being a jerk. Some of us girls actually do appreciate the nice guys.

Responses:
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Comments:
Zoe-Two-Times is a cool name...

Comments:
Thank you Zoe-Two-Times, but I wasn't trying to say you have to be a jerk. Having confidence doesn't necessarily equal jerk. What I'm saying is that being wishy-washy isn't appealing to anyone. Saying that they are being a "nice guy" is the crutch for guys who are too scared to ask a girl out. If they'd just ask the girl out, they'd know where they stand, they'd get shot down more often than not, but they might succeed some, too. Instead they try to be sensitive and nice and just pray that the girl will make the first move...not gonna happen. All you "nice guys" out there...just try this. Instead of stalking a girl you like, tell her you think she's great and you'd really like to take her out. If she shoots you down, you can quit wasting your time on her and move on to someone else. It's one of those "nothing ventured, nothing earned" things...

Name: Zoe
Comments:
While confidence is a virtue, it becomes less attractive when the guy is a confident JERK. I agree with Dawn: who wants a jerk when they can have a nice guy?

Comments:
Blah, blah, blah...I get sick of this argument. What it boils down to is "nice" guys are wussies who "wait for something to happen" when they like a girl. No wonder they don't want to date you guys. Get some balls, take a shot, and ask them out. Girls like confident guys...not "sensitive" (aka, scared) wusses. And confident doesn't mean being an asshole, either. YOU just have to believe you have something to offer before a girl will want to talk to you.

Name: Bryan
Comments:
What are you doing tomorrow night?

Name: Jeff
Year: Alumnus
Major: ly tired
Comments:
Thanks, Dawn. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten shafted for worthless man-excuses. Women like you give men like us faith, especially when it fades.