To The People Who Cannot Drive
| Published 10/01/04

Graphic by: Doni Neel

This is dedicated to those of you who cannot drive. This is for any driver who likes doing 35 mph in a 55 mph zone, speeding up to 55 mph when you reach the 25 mph city limits, and casting condescending looks my way (breaking your concentration from the task at hand) when I pass you while going the speed limit.

I am disgusted with the number of bad drivers I encounter everyday. Road-rage wouldn't be a problem if we didn't have you people to aggravate us. Just a word of advice: when you're going 10-15 miles below the speed limit while another car is approaching, you are the hazard. Slamming your breaks on because you believe the car is following too closely will result in an accident, in which you are to blame. I'm just waiting for the day you people catch me off guard when slamming your brakes on. I really am due for a new car. Let's see. I do think I'd love to have a SUV. I could commandeer the road much better.

Along with my list of complaints (and my definition of bad drivers), I am compelled to speak about those who fail to use their signal lights. Consult your user's manual if you do not know how. If you do not know what a users manual is or have failed to keep it in your dash pocket where it belongs, I'm very sure you can be informed from an online search about the use of signal lights. I suggest Google.com. Your ignorance can be cured. 

For those of you who just neglect the use, your stupidity is beyond me. When you're turning left, your signal control needs to be pushed down; a right signal light is activated by the upward movement of your signal control. Proper use is as follows:  When moving into a turning lane, put your signal light on approximately five seconds before moving into the turning lane. Once you're in the turning lane, apply your brakes. Use this same method while turning in any other scenario; brake five seconds after the signal light to ensure the driver behind you has fair warning of your intentions. Improper use of signal lights may incur un-called for deaths.

DO NOT USE YOUR CELLPHONE WHILE YOU ARE DRIVING.  Enough said.

It really perplexes me when a driver proceeds to move into the passing lane (the left lane, for those of you who are less road-savvy) and does not pass. Then you wonder why anger finds its way onto the road. Behind the wheel, your life is supposed to be in your own hands. However when bad drivers find their way into a car, the highway is a challenge to be dealt with. If I wreck and die because you're going 20 mph below the speed limit, I'm not going to be very happy.

Concentrate fully on driving while behind the wheel. Why must you all insist upon eating the double quarter-pounder from McDonald's while driving sporadically in front of me?

I am not saying I am the perfect driver; I do have my faults. However I am a better driver than those who make my commute to work and school very displeasing and dangerous.

If I pass you, there's a reason. Use your signal lights, for goodness sake. Go the speed limit. Use the passing lane for its designated use. Don't use your cell phone. Don't eat that Big Mac. For the sake of ALL our lives: if you can't run with the big dogs, sit on the porch.