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Graphic by: Jenny Conner |
Computers have been the object of ridicule since
they were first created. Thousands of jokes have been had at the expense of
machines which we practically couldn't live without nowadays. We're not here
today to celebrate how great computers are at the moment, we're here to laugh
at a small sampling of the jokes made at our much beloved machinations on which
we've all spent many a hour going, "What the heck to do you mean press F1 to
continue?! My keyboard isn't even attached to the computer." This article will
still try to remain somewhat educational, as each joke will be explained in
some degree so you can look intelligent while explaining it to all the not so
hip people that you know.
"RAM /abr./: Rarely Adequate Memory." ~Definition in my computer hardware
dictionary. Actually, RAM stands for Random Access Memory, a volatile memory
unlike the hard drive. It is erased when the computer is turned off. In relation to the definition however, it is the most common type of memory to run
out of because of having too many programs open.
"586: The average IQ needed to understand a PC." 586 makes reference to the
Pentium class of processors. In the olden days there was the Pentium 386 and 486
and currently, assuming that you're using a recent computer, you'll have a
Pentium 686.
"A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk I have a workstation..."
And you can follow the rest of the joke. I mean, am I really doing work now as
I write this?
"Want to come see my HARD DRIVE ? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't
floppy." Guys, if you need an explanation for this geek pick-up line, then
you're in serious need of help.
"There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand binary and
those that don't." If you don't dig the jive, that's a four barrel carburetor
and an overdrive. Well, depending on which decade you're in and which band you're
listening to, you might not understand binary. A "10" in binary is equivalent
to 1*2^1 + 0*2^0 = 2 in the decimal number system.
"ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!" Ascii is a standard for
characters on computers. Each letter and number is given its own special number
that the computer recognizes. For instance, "A" is ASCII number 41 and "a" is
61. ANSI is the American National Standards Institute.
"Use the source, Luke..." If you need an explanation, seek out Jedi Master
Yoda.
"MacOS, Windows, BeOS: they're all just Xerox copies."
As you all should know, MacOS, Windows, BeOS and are all operating systems
based on a graphical user interface. The copier company Xerox was the first
company to come out with a GUI, and they sold the idea early on not thinking
that it was very important.
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AI: anything a computer can't do yet