Graphic By: Doni Neel

Avoiding Summer Boredom
| Published 04/30/04

Summers can be really boring for college kids. Most people return home to find work. Most people work 40 hours a week and don't do much other than that. It gets old. Here are five ways to prevent that.

1) The best way to alleviate boredom in your life is to add some good, healthy and natural stress. I like to do this by having my car "break-down" infront of a farm house where the farmer has three gorgeous daughters. You know how one thing leads to another, and you wind up stealing all of his sheep. Driving down the road with a car full of sheep and three beautiful women shooting shot guns at you is very stressful, yet full of fun.

2) After you get your first pay check, cash it all in one dollar bills. Then spread it all over your bed and roll around naked in it. It sounds stupid, but you'll at least get a laugh out of it. It won't be that normal "I'm a moron" laugh either. It'll be a cackle of a meglomaniacal CEO, hell-bent on the destruction of small business. Everyone wants to feel that way sometime, just for the experience.

3) Get back to your roots. Let's face it. Being a college student requires a person to allow a certain amount of technological interaction that dumbs him or her down, and kills their natural instincts. Go find a cave, and spend a few weeks playing the hunter/gatherer role. Break things that your unsophisticated mind doesn't understand. Eat anything that looks edible. This may not be fun, but doing things the old-fashioned way takes up time. Plus, your social interactions will be decided by the swing of a club. This will make time go by quicker, because you'll be knocked out for a long portion of it.

4) Drive until you get lost. Try to find your way home. If you make your way home, try again because you failed. This game is especially fun if you've got two other people in the car, because you can discuss who gets eaten first. This is the type of bonding that is a once in a life time experience, and you can be sure that you'll be friends for life. Yes, you'll be friends that never want to see each other again, and every interaction with each other will be fueled by awkward posturing and fumbled words.

5) Drink with your parents. Now, this isn't just having a beer with them. I mean, get hammered with Mom and Dad. Now, you've created the perfect opportunity to talk about sex. Talking to your parents about sex while they are in a position to be so frank is a very excellent opportunity. It is an opportunity that will probably lead to divorce proceedings for the rest of the summer, which won't be boring for you.

There it is. If you follow any of these five suggestions, you won't be bored for long, my friend.