Halloween is a time that most people don't mind dealing with the undead.
However this has become an increasing stressor on the ecosystem due to
the slow of the growth rate for the human brain population. We simply
cannot allow zombies to disrupt the natural flow of nature when we let
the zombies run loose on Halloween.
Consider the advantages of having two days set aside for zombies. It
would ensure that zombies would not over populate the landscapes. Also
the zombies would just starve to death after killing all the morons
since they would not be able to move swiftly enough to capture suitable
human brains. This would also be an excellent way to control the human
population since natural selection hasn't been doing the greatest job of
sifting the gene pool.
We save up at least half of the zombies and unleash them on
Thanksgiving. On this day, Americans are largely immobile since they
have consumed pounds of turkey. This means that zombies, whose range of
motion appears to be limited to meandering, can be assured to catch
humans.
This is the only choice we have left. If you have a good heart and clean
soul, you should acknowledge that the genocidal nature of the month of
October. Halloween is in October, and Columbus Day is in October. This
is not a coincidence. Zombies must be unleashed on Thanksgiving, not
only Halloween.
