Fresh Prince of Sports: Christmas Wish Lists Doug McKinney | Sports Manager
| Published 12/12/03
Graphic By: John Cordiano
Dear Santa,
Oh, how terrible this year has been. Here we finished number one in all
the polls in the nation, but we get screwed out of the championship game
because of that damn BCS system. For Christmas, may we get a victory
over Michigan? Also, please get rid of that awful, awful BCS crap. Terribly upset,
USC football fans
Der Good Ole Santa,
Darn tootin, I really don't know what to do here. I'm in one sticky
position. You know who I am, da good 'ole ball coach, and I got quite da
predicament. Ya see here, I am overcookin' a lot of people's grits
because of the way I'm coaching my team. I mean in college, heck,
everybody feared me and my fun 'n gun. æNow everyone knows what's
coming. Now should I stay or should I go? If I do stay, please, God
almighty, give me a winning season. æThanks, Santa. Oh yeah, also I need
to get some more tan on me. æGosh darnit to heck, I used to be one tan
feller. Ya take it easy der. Da Good 'Ole Ball Coach,
Steve Spurrier
Saint Nick,
Ok, we finally ended our horrible losing streak, but what to do next?
Our star player, T-Mac, is crying left and right saying how he can't play
against zone defenses (which he can't) and how he might want to retire.
Grant Hill is hurt like always, and the rest of the team is playing they
should be on the IR. What should we do with this ball club? Please, just
help things get better. Please. We know we deserved coal the moment we
got rid of Shaq and Penny, but we're sorry! Merry Christmas,
The Orlando Magic Front Office
Santa,
Well, we started this year off hot, and then it all went down the
crapper. æI did what we're supposed to by playing some cupcake teams in the beginning, beating Miami and even playing Marcus. Why did we still
finish worse than last year? æWhat can I do? æMaybe next year, I'll
change up the offensive setup. Maybe I'll have Randall and Vick in at
the same time and instead of going from top 5 to not even in the top 25.
Maybe things might change. Sincerely,
Anonymous (Hint: Work @ Virginia Tech)
Dear Santa,
How you doing, jolly old Saint Nick? You da man. Anywho, my list is
shorter than usual this year and hope you'll have enough time to give me
evertyhing I want. First off, I want a bowl win for Maryland against
WVU. Speaking of Maryland, please let things turn around for their
basketball team; they need some help. While I'm on the subject of
basketball, RU hoops is doing a good job this year. Please give us a
trip to March Madness. The list goes on and on, but that's really it.
Have a good one, Santa, and expect a longer list next year. With lots of love,
Dougie Fresh ___
Doug McKinney is the Sports Manager for Whim. He also serves as the Sports Editor for the Tartan, RU's student newspaper.
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Name: kevin Comments:
HAHAHAHA...oh my god that was the funniest thing i have ever read...
