 Whim's April Fool's Edition
Microsoft today announced that its next operating
system, code-named "Xunil," will not only have a new, less ugly interface, but
is also expected to crash 500 percent less often. A quiet, contemplative and
sinew Steve Ballmer announced the new OS from a window overlooking a mass of
huddled Windows users. After the announcement, the crowd exploded into cheering
and rioting. As the ecstatic crowd ran through the streets of Readmon,
Washington, many business owners were overheard saying, "Finally! I can fire
that little snot-nosed help desk kid."
Further details about the OS have been gleaned from hackers. These handsome
young men and women found that Microsoft plans to give away the operating
system and that it will be totally industry-compliant. Beta versions of the OS
have a totally revamped interface with tasteful colors and simple, easy-to-
understand controls. When asked about the new interface, the design team
said, "Microsoft finally got around to firing all the beauty school dropouts
on the user-interface team." Another great feature of Xunil is that the entire
installation requires only 10 Megabytes of disk space and 8 Megs of R.A.M.
In what may or may not be related news, Steve Jobs was seen pre- registering to get a copy of the new OS. Other Mac fanatics have been seen
wandering the streets with a dazed look on their face mumbling the words
of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" under their breath. After the announcement,
the stock market jumped 600 points, and investors were seen using Microsoft
stock to wipe their noses as well. Also, the justice department spontaneously
combusted today.
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Brice Thomas Wolfgang Hutchings has been an avid Microsoft User since the day he was born.
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Name: Greg
Comments:
Only on the AF Edition.
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