Welcome back to Ask The Geek! This week the geek covers a few miscelaneous questions.
Q: My friend has e-mailed me and told me that if I have a teddy bear
icon, I have a virus. I have a teddy bear icon, so what should I do?
A: Insert a Windows 95/98/ME bootable floppy disk, and start the
computer from that disk. At the C:\> type format c: /y Make sure you put a
space after the 't' in format, and the :. Once this step is completed, please
give your computer to the local thrift store and move to an Amish community.
Q: Antivirus software is so expensive! Do I have to buy one?
A: No, you don't. Just be sure you don't run into the person above
when you take your computer to the local thrift store.
Q: My computer is running Windows 95, and I can't install _______
game. The game says it needs Windows 98 and 64mb of RAM minimum. Can you come
over and install this game?
A: Yes, after you spend around $500 on parts and software. The fine
folks at Dell Computer sell new computers every day. Please give them a call,
then I will help you install your game.
Q: I unplugged the USB hub on my Apple, and the computer does not
work anymore. Did I break it?
A: Yes.
Q: (A week after the above question) This computer still does not
work. Why?
A: Because I've not had time to reload the whole damn thing where
you (screwed) it up the last time you jerked the USB cable while half the
system was updating.
Q: Hey Kev, I want you to listen to this...
A: Oh, hell! [Editor's Note: If your computer tech needs to HEAR
the problem, you likely should unplug the machine!]
Q: Kev, my computer keeps telling me I need to download updates
from Microsoft (or Red Hat). Do I really need to do this?
A: No, you don't. Just be sure you don't run into the people above
when you take your computer to the local thrift store.
Q: People keep e-mailing me saying I have the Klez virus. My doctor
says I'm healthy. How do I get these people to stop?
A: First, call your Internet Provider and cancel your subscription.
Then you just have to be sure you don't run into the people above when you
take your computer to the local thrift store. Problem solved.
Well folks, that's all for this week! Thanks for bearing with me while I took
out six months of Computer Guru in Hell questions. Remember to send your questions in so that we can
answer them for you! Next week, back to normal questions and answers. Until
next time, happy computing!
Well folks, that's all for this week! Thanks for bearing with me while I took out 6 months of Computer Guru in Hell questions. Remember to send your questions in so that we can answer them for you! Next week, back to normal questions and answers. Until next time, happy computing!
___
Kevin Martin is Whim's resident Geek. All questions are real. Not all answers are the answers he gave.
Responses:
Refresh frame to view latest entries.
Name: Kevin Martin
Comments:
Oh? Well, be careful that YOU don't run into the other folks when you take your computer to the Thrift Store! Until then, consider re-reading my tagline. It's located just above the blue "related articles & links" table.
Name: Anonymous
Comments:
I understand april fools but it's very unethical tech wise to tell anyone to use the format command.
|
