You wake up and glance at the clock. Itäs 2:30 in
the afternoon. Half the day is gone already. Itäs not that you meant to sleep
this late; in fact, youäve been up since 11; you just couldnät get out of bed.
When you woke up the prospect of living another day was the last thing on
your mind, so you rolled over and slept again; at first for half an hour and
then you wake up again. You still canät face the prospect of living, so you go
back to sleep. Finally, you force yourself out of bed. You grumble about
how the day is halfway done. You look around your room, at the paper, clothes
and books piled up because you canät find the energy to clean. Similarly, work
has piled up too. In the end, youäre powerless for youäre in the grips of a
deep depression, one so debilitating that it affects every aspect of your life.
Two weeks ago, Amanda Hoffer wrote an article on how to help a depressed
friend. She didnät write that article merely to fill up her section; she was
dealing with a very close friend suffering from a crippling bout of
depression;
that friend was me. I am writing this to give you a picture from the Üother
side,¯ so to speak, on what itäs like to be depressed. I am writing this as a
form of catharsis and as a way of reaching out to those who are suffering, to
let them know they are not alone, and they can beat this.
A glance at my life would probably lead one to ask, ÜWhat does he have to be
depressed about?¯ Itäs a question I asked myself. When the ultimate answer
was Ünothing,¯ it was then I realized there was a serious problem.
Mental health professionals tell us depression is an illness and it is. Itäs
an illness that overruns your life and infects every corner of it. You lose
interest in things you were once passionate about. You begin to withdraw from
social situations and pass up chances to have fun with your friends. You
isolate yourself from those you love, in some cases lashing out at them, and
denying their love. In some cases, such as mine, it becomes too much to bear
and death becomes an appealing alternative. There are no words I can use,
outside of Üdark¯ and Üscary,¯ to describe what itäs like to lay in
bed burdened to the point that the prospect of stabbing yourself to death
seems like your only option.
A plethora of medications exist to help with depression, but they can only do
so much. For some sufferers, finding the right medicine (or combination of
medicines) can take many months, often with unpleasant side effects. It
took three times to find the right combination that worked for me and it
remains to be seen whether theyäll prove effective in the long run.
As I said, medicines can only do so much; they allow the brain to function
properly, but itäs up to you to deal with the darkness. Therapy helps; I for
one felt better confiding my problems to an impartial third party. I left my
therapy sessions feeling a little better about life and that counted for
something. In my case hospitalization helped too. I was initially resistant to
the idea, and who wouldnät be opposed to the idea of going into a psychiatric
hospital? Yet, in the relaxed environment, I found a place to rest,
recuperate and reflect on my life. I came to some profound realizations
about life while there.
This article doesnät do justice to what it's like to be truly depressed, for
itäs
one of those experiences that you canät understand until youäve felt it
yourself. I hope and pray that none of you have to.
Responses:
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Name: Jeff
Year: Alumnus
Major: ly tired
Comments:
The river to the ocean goes,
a fortune for the undertow.
None of this is going my way.
There is nothing left to throw
of Ginger, lemon, indigo,
coriander stem and rose of hay.
Strength and courage overrides
the privileged and weary eyes
of river poet search naivete.
Pick up here and chase the ride.
The river empties to the tide.
All of this is coming your way.
Perhaps this applies. Either way, I'm very happy for you.
Name: Tracey
Major: Grad
Comments:
Awesome article, Shaun! Hang in there, Dude, you've already taken the hardest step. You will prevail!
Name: Greg
Comments:
=) Cool article. I've felt the same way, it sucks.
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