Torn between the man you love and your mom is a very emotionally draining situation. I have recently discussed this situation with others who feel my pain, so to speak. It is not uncommon for moms to be protective of their “little girls” but there are times when, and I hate to say it, they just need to let go.

Who do you choose in such a situation? On one side is your mother, always there for you loving, supportive, and trusting. The other side is the man you love and are in love with. The man who you truly want to marry and have a family with. Choosing is not an option in my opinion.

There are some people that I know who just bite the bullet and deal with the situation, try to make the best of it. Of course that is what I have done so far, but the drain is almost too much. Not to mention being in this situation just is not fair.

My whole life my mom taught me “not to judge a book by its cover,” as I am sure most moms or dads teach their children, so I am not alone in that. OK, so maybe I judge some people here and there, but face it- we all do it. However, there have also been many cases in which I judged that I would not like a person, got to know that person, and realized that that person is not that bad. So why can’t moms do that? For 22 years now my mom has preached not to judge and now she is going against what she taught me.

Is being 28 and a bartender, temporarily, that bad? No. The job pays the bills, which the last time I checked is the point of a “college job.” According to most moms the answer would be yes. To give all moms a break, I suppose there are situations in which they should be concerned with their daughter dating a bartender, but still the mom should get to know the guy first, right?

On the flip side is the man. Of course I hate even mentioning my mom, as soon as I do the eye rolling begins. To give him credit the first time they met was a disaster, and she was rude. However, he has to deal with the fact that she is my mom, my only mom. While I do believe he understands this, he also thinks it is fun to get me going.

So therein lies the problem, in a nutshell, that so many of us face. If this was a perfect world mom and boyfriend would meet, realize they were both wrong, and get along just fine. Please- that is not the world any of us live in.

Hopefully, for others, and me, mom and boyfriend will reconcile their differences. This situation is faced by many every day, and will always be faced. We all want a quick fix, but in reality there are not quick fixes. So my advice is to make it work. If you love both of them then the pain and heartache are worth it.