"All jocks think about is sports; all nerds think about is sex." This line came from the second greatest college movie of all time, "Revenge of the Nerds" and boy is nothing closer to the truth. So when my fellow nerds of the Tech section asked me to do an article on sex toys on the market, I grabbed my favorite issue of Hustler, my slop rag, and sat down at the computer and spent a good long night "researching" some of the most unique sex toys out there.

After a while I sat back and came (That was not a perverted reference.) to the conclusion (climax?) that there were too many weird and stimulating toys out there to mention just one. So I chose one toy for men, one toy for women, and one toy that both male and female can enjoy together. These toys are surprisingly the most bought and "erotic" toys on the market according to a number of sites. So let's whip it on out, shall we?

THE LOVE SHEEP (For Men)-I did a double take on this one. Men apparently love this toy. Whether to use it in their sex lives or as a gag gift to friends is undetermined but it is a big sex toy seller. You only have to blow it up with your lungs and then seconds of barnyard ecstasy is at your... tips. The Love Sheep comes ready with an anal opening and, on some models, an open mouth. It is deliciously decorated to look like a sheepish slut so your imagination can run wild. Clean-up is only washing it under a faucet of warm water. There were many other "blow up dolls" available, ranging from men, women, and gladiators to sheep, aliens, and dogs.

THE SYBIAN (For Women)-This creation is hailed as the greatest sex toy since Adam's penis. Women seem to go "nuts" over the Sybian. Sometimes called "The Horse" or "The Saddle," the Sybian is an electronic high tech vibrator complete with remote control and several levels of intense vibration. At the top of the Sybian is a detachable penis-like head that can be removed and larger adaptions can be bought and added. The woman straddles the machine and, using the remote, can just about act out a good many sex positions as if she were with a man. The Sybian, unlike a man, can go and go, sometimes giving women multiple orgasms. Masturbator? Women say this is the Master Better. Clean-up is easy once again with a quick wash under a warm water faucet for the removable head and a sponge on the base of the Sybian. The only problem is that the Sybian runs for hundreds of dollars. You're not going to find this at Walmart, ladies.

THE LOVE SWING (For couples)-Tarzan and Jane are kinky! This little contraption may look confusing, but following the instruction book and using some imagination, you can fly the kinky skies. The love swing comes fully padded, fully assembled, and fully adjustable. You only need to find a sturdy doorway or ceiling beam to bolt it to. The Love Swing boasts that you can perform just about every imaginable sex position in it for maximum pleasure for both man and woman. Clean up with a warm sponge is all that is needed in case of premature accidents or leaks. The only problem is that it is tough to hide when Mom and Dad come down to visit. You can take it off the bolt and hide it under the bed, but still your Dad might question the awkward position of a lone bolt in the doorway. Overall it is kinky as hell. Warning: Radford Residential Life does not allow The Love Swing in dorm rooms due to the damages of installation.

Well my hot and sweaty peeps, there is your sex toy preview. I must say I enjoyed writing this article in more ways than one (did I just write that out loud?). If you like this section and would like to have it become a more frequent section, just leave some positive feedback below and tell Tech Section Manager Kevin Martin, "I WANT MORE SEX TOYS!" See you in bed!