Welcome to another week of ASQ, the best advice column on Whim...wait it's the only one. Oh well, nevermind that. We have another week of answering your questions.

(This is the Vice City edition of ASQ, in which Kate has been distracted by the shiny new Grand Theft Auto title. Her answers reflect this accordingly.)

THE OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER - The views expressed here are not necessarily representative of the views of Radford University, Whim or any of its staffers, including the ones writing this. Whim is not responsible for any negative consequences incurred by persons actually following any advice given here. It is meant mostly for entertainment value and should not be taken too seriously. Especially Kate's part. She's loony.

How do you remove semen stains from sheets?
Amanda: Your best bet is to soak the sheets in cold water before running them through a regular laundry cycle. The cold water will help remove it.
Katie: What now? Oh. Umm...try a flamethrower. Or Molotov cocktails. And don't forget to kill the hooker afterwards so you can get your money back.

There's been this creepy guy following me around. How do I deal with the unwanted attention?
Amanda: The best thing you can do is to address this guy directly. Tell him you simply aren't interested in him. Don't give him any conditions that could change such as "I'm too busy," or "I can't handle a relationship right now." It may seem harsh but it's the best way to avoid problems in the future. If he continues to bother you, tell someone you trust and who knows your situation. The two of you can figure out what to do next, even if it entails contacting the police.
Katie: Simple. BASEBALL BAT! Nothing beats a healthy dose of Louisville Slugger justice. In a pinch, a hammer will work as well. Once they've gotten the idea (or lost consciousness, whichever happens first), grab yourself a set of wheels and speed on outta there before the fuzz shows up.

Well that's all for this week kids. Keep sending your questions our way!