Katie Tandler | Life Section Manager

1/25/02

I don't know how you can sleep at night. Seriously. How utterly low, how completely bereft of human decency are you to resort to such acts? I'm talking, of course, to one of the most despicable brands of campus scum out there: the dorm kitchen-raiders.

Stealing other peoples' food, especially in a college setting (our wonderful dining facilities being what they are), is just cruel, not to mention utterly pointless. Especially in my own lovely Pocahontas Hall, where Dalton is right across the plaza. If you're so desperate for food that you're willing to sacrifice common decency, would it be so hard to walk over to Dalton? It's not as if everything there is inedible...

But for those of us who actually try to think ahead or better budget our food dollars by working off leftovers, people like you always have to make it a gamble. Everyone knows that the average dorm room fridge, while ideal for holding drinks and other small items, just doesn't cut it when it comes to holding stuff like leftover pizza or ice cream. Therefore, we have no choice but to resort to the fridge in the hall kitchen if we want to save anything worthwhile. Unfortunately, short of locked Tupperware, there's no way to keep these leftovers safe.

I'm sure some of you are thinking I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. But consider my situation. Being a picky eater to begin with, I absolutely cannot stand Dalton, and will do anything I can to avoid it. So I stocked up on food from the Terrace shops on Friday and wrapped it up to keep in the fridge for the weekend. I had it rationed out so I'd have just enough to cover every meal. And everything was fine, until Sunday afternoon. When I went to get my lunch, I'd discovered that some [and here is where I'd put my affectionate title for said individual, but sadly, it isn't fit for print, being that it's mostly composed of varying terms for intercourse with farm animals] had stolen half of what was left. I had lunch, but no dinner. So I'd either have to go get some tripe from Dalton (wasting more of my precious food dollars), or go get food elsewhere (the more likely option, seeing as Dalton closes at 7 and I never eat dinner that early), tapping into my dwindling supply of cash.

So consider the quintessential poor college student. Swiping a meal from them isn't just stealing food, it's essentially stealing money. With that in mind, would you still be so willing to do it?

Meanwhile, I'm still seriously considering the locked Tupperware option. Sure, it sounds ridiculous, but at least I'll be sure I'll be able to eat next Sunday night...