2/15/02

Valentine's Day is a day for people to spend time with those who are nearest and dearest to them. It is all too often the only day of the year when two people in a relationship express how much they mean to each other. This can be done by giving gifts, going to dinner, or just a look in the person's eyes and knowing you are the only one.

The question then becomes, "What do you do when you are not able to see the person you love?" After three years of not seeing my loved one on Valentine's day I have become quite the expert, or at least a survivor. It has actually become my boyfriend's least favorite holiday. I was able to completely drain Valentine's day of its true meaning.

This is a day where you are supposed to show your love to your significant other. That doesn't really make a lot of sense to me. When my boyfriend is with me he will surprise me with a dozen red roses and we will go out to a nice restraunt (of course, we are in a long distance relationship, so it isn't a daily thing...therefore I guess he has an easy way out). But, you get the gist, you show the person you love that you love them everyday! This doesn't mean that all of the close-proximity relationships should go out to dinner all the time, and be surprised by their loved ones every day. This would cause a lot of people that have no money to have even less.

However, when in a long distance relationship during a time when you are supposed to celebrate your love it becomes a time for tears and longing. I know that in my experience with my boyfriend of almost three years I find myself dreading opening whatever he decided to send me. It has nothing to do with him and his taste in whatever he got me (he actually has very good taste). It has to do with the fact that no matter what is in the package it is not him. All I want is for him to show up on my doorstep and to be with me. Unfortunately, the mail service doesn't allow people to mail themselves.

This being my third year for Valentine's Day on my own I have picked up some helpful hints that might help you when thinking of your own missed Valentine, or even your long distance love on a daily basis. I hope these help you in knowing that your relationship can and will work, but only if you want it to.

• Spend Valentine's Day with close friends. One of my closest college friends and I have made it an annual event to go to dinner every Valentine's Day (this is a true friend).
• Don't expect your boyfriend to hop out of a 4 in. x 4 in. box (trust me, this is not going to happen).
• Celebrate your love by realizing that you are in a relationship strong enough to last the distance.
• Know that Valentine's day is one day, you will get through it and know that someday you will be together if you want to be.
• Join Whim.